Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One night, a couple goes to a chinese resturant to celebrate their anniversary. They are happily chatting away when the waiter comes up and asks them what they would like to order. “I don’t know what I want”, says the woman. “What are your specials?” “Well, tonight we have a spactacular special. It is called “Cream of Sumyung Gi. It’s ingredients are a family secret, but all the customers who have had it rave about the taste.” The woamn orders…
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There was this guy named Joe. Ever since he was born, he has always been 2nd at everything. His baby stroller was always slower than the other kids’, his tricycle was old and rusted and had wobbly wheels, his first bike was a piece of junk, his first car wouldn’t go over 35 m.p.h. So Joe resigned himself to a life of slowness, never able to win a race in his life. Until one day, when his rich uncle died…
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One day two guys in a truck were driving down the road and their were 2 Amish men behind them. The passenger of the truck says, “I gotta take a crap.” The driver says, “You just did back at the truck stop!” The passenger sticks his butt out the window and takes a crap! The crap lands on one of the Amish men. The other one said, “What kind of chewing tobacco did that guy spit on you?” He said,…
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The latest terms to add to your vocabulary in the Y2K office environment: * Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. * Salmon day – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. * Chainsaw consultant – An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands. * CLM – Career…
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There were these 3 guys walking up a roadside right next to a cliff. Their names were Fuck You, Shit, and Manners. Well on the way up, Shit fell off, and Manners went down to help him; while Fuck You went to call the police. Fuck You told the cops everything. The lady asked,”O.k, now please tell me your name.” He said, “Fuck You.” The lady said, “Please tell me your name.” Once again he told her his name, “Fuck…
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As Benjy and his parents drove down the final stretch of highway towards their brand-new home in St. Louis, Missouri, Benjy’s eyes were wide with fascination at all the skyscrapers and traffic. It was much different from what they had left behind in Paducah, Kentucky. “What do you think of THAT, Benjy?” said his Pa, pointing out the famous Arch to him. Benjy exclaimed, “WOW! And to think that it is only HALF finished!” “WHAT is ‘half finished’?” said his…
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Two long-time golfing buddies got to the course one day and decided that this day they would play the ball where it lies…”No matter what!!” On the 14th hole, one of them sliced his drive, and it ended up on the concrete cart path. As he reached down to pick up his ball to get relief, his friend said, “Wait a minute! We agreed that we would not improve our lies, remember? No matter what!” The first player tried to…
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In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on…
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A homeless drunk scrapes up all his change one day and heads for his favorite liquor store. He places $5.00 in change on the counter and says, “Max give me four bottles of the cheapest ripple ya got!” Eager with his score, he immediately downs all four bottles and passes out in an alley. Along about 1:30am a disgruntled fag happens by after striking out at the local gay bar. Spying the passed out drunk, he decides to relive himself.…
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Dad: Come in here, son. we need to talk. Billy: What’s up, Dad? Dad: There’s a scratch down the side of the car. Did you do it? Billy: I don’t believe, if I understand the definition of “scratch the car”, that I can say truthfully that I scratched the car. Dad: Well, it wasn’t there yesterday, and you drove the car last night, and no one else has driven it since. How can you explain the scratch? Billy: Well, as…
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