Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two builders were working on the 48th floor of a skyscraper. One turns to the other and says, ” Damn, I gotta take a piss.” The other guy tells him to go ahead. The first guy says,”hell, we’re on the 48th floor. By the time I get to the ground, I’ll have pissed my pants.” The second guy looks around and spots a plank about twelve feet long, and gets an idea. He tells the first guy, “Hey, listen. I’ll…
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Constipated People Don’t Give A Crap. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant. If At First You Don’t Succeed… Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling. You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away? The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name Illiterate? Write For Help I Refuse To…
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SOUTHERN SAYINGS….. 1. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” 2. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” 3. “He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.” 4. “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already been ‘saucered and blowed.’” 5. “She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.” 6. “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” 7. “My cow died last night so I don’t…
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The peace talks are in progress. Saddam invites Bill over to Bagdahd to talk. Halfway through the talks, Saddam presses a small red button on his chair. Suddenley, a boxing glove flies through the air and hits Bill right on the nose. “Ah Crap!” whines Bill “Why d’ya do that?” Saddam just laughs. After about 10 more minutes of the peace talks, Saddam pushes another small red button on his chair. From underneath the table, a big boot comes out…
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For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from Heaven. “You’ve been such exemplary statues,” he announced to them, “that I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for thirty minutes, in which you can do anything you want.” And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life. The two approached…
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An attractive young woman gets on the city bus and facing the bus driver, she proceeds to put her right thumb to her nose and wiggles the other fingers on her right hand. The bus driver responds by putting his right thumb to his nose, putting his left thumb to the palm of his right hand and wiggling the eight fingers on his hands. Then the woman grabs both her breasts to which the bus driver responds by grabbing his…
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“This is to hep yu’all who don’t have the plesur of livin in the sunny South, which is sometimes covered in ice! Those who do, will wunder why these wus ever wrote down in the furst place.” Sayings in the South: “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already ‘saucered and blowed.” “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” “My…
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1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, “May I borrow a highlighter?” 2. Say, “uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.” 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. 4. Say, “Dang, this water’s cold.” 5. Drop a marble and say, “Oh crap! My glass eye!” 6. Say, “Hmmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.” 7. Grunt and strain real loud…
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CLINTON TRAGEDIO AMERICANO (Program notes translated by Rodgers Wood) Cast of Characters: Bill Clinton, tenor – philandering President of the United States Hillary Rodham Clinton, soprano – his long-suffering wife Monica Lewinsky, soprano – a conniving little White House intern Ken Starr, basso – puritanical special prosecutor Henry Hyde, basso – a true believer congressman Linda Tripp, contralto – double-crossing friend of Monica’s Paula Jones, contralto – a wild woman from Arkansas Sam Donaldson, baritone – a television news reporter…
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1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream ‘MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!’ 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD…
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