Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Corn Jokes - page 8
HOW blonde was she?
She was sooooooooooooooo blonde, She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order. She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought “Meow Mix” was a CD for cats. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Under “education” on her job application,…
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Chet’s Nuts
It was Christmas time and Jim wanted to buy a nice present for his girlfriend. He walked into a pet shop and walked up to the front counter. “Excuse me, sir, but do you have any special pets?” Jim asked the man “Why yes right over there.” He pointed to a small parrot perched on a wooden stick inside a cage in the corner. “His name is CHET.” “Well, what does this bird do that is so special??” Jim asked.…
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You Don’t Want to Know
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.” “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer’ll tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a hellofalot cheaper than a doctor.”…
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Bribery
Since he was a Texan being tried in New York, the young man felt he didn’t have a prayer of beating his murder rap. So, shortly before the jury was to retire, he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of manslaughter, not murder. The jury was out for days, after which they returned a verdict of manslaughter. Cornering the bribed juror, the Texas whispered. “Thanks a million! However did you manage it?” “It wasn’t easy, admitted the…
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10 Things Not To Say To Your New Girlfriend’s Parents
1. My parole officer thinks Sara has a calming effect on me. 2. Did you see that saucer that flew over town yesterday? 3. Which one of you taught Sara to give such great head? 4. Can you believe it! Those shitheads at the corner market won’t cash my welfare check! 5. We’re going to keep our relationship quiet for now. My wife can be rather vindictive at times. 6. Those home pregnancy kits aren’t very reliable in my opinion.…
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pissants
A little boy is sitting on a corner squashing pissants. A priest comes by asks the boy what he is doing. “Squashing pissants” the boy replies. The priest says “But son, don’t you know that everything on earth has a purpose in life.” “Not everything” says the boy. “Name three things that don’t have a purpose” asks the priest. The boy thought for a minute then said. “Tits on a nun, balls on a priest and these damn pissants.”
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Doctors office
A man walks in the doctors with a carrot sticking out of his ear, spaggeti all over his hair, and corn flakes down his front. The doctor says you haven’t been eating properly have you?
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Rookie’s First Assignment
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s get off the corner, people.” A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, “Let’s get off that corner…NOW!” Intimidated, the group of people…
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Super Bowl
Jack is thrilled when his boss presents him with a ticket to the Super Bowl, but when he finds his seat, he’s in the last row of a far corner of the stadium. After the opening kickoff, Jack is trying to follow the action on the field through his binoculars when he spots an empty seat about ten rows up on the fifty yard line. Figuring he has nothing to lose, he sneaks past the ushers and security guards, and…
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