Cop car Jokes - page 9

Top 10 Clues Your Mother Is A Cleanaholic

10. Her sweatshirts all say “PineSol Just Do it” 9.Kitchen utensils used by Mayo Clinic 8.When you walk through house she follows you like member of Olympic Curling Team 7. Likes to wear same outfit worn by Dustin Hoffman in “Outbreak” 6. Bathroom mirror could be used as lens in Hubble Space Telescope 5. Uses broomsticks for firewood 4. dog’s name is “Ajax” 3. Guest room is used Apollo astronaut quarantine chamber 2. Garage is car wash And the number…

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Things you DONT want to hear from Tech Support .

12. “Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?” 11. “…that’s right, not even McGyver could fix it.” 10. “So — what are you wearing?” 9. “Duuuuuude! Bummer!” 8. “Looks like you’re gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap’n.” 7. “Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you’re with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you’re with the FTC.” 6. “We can fix this, but you’re gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.”…

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Read JokeThings you DONT want to hear from Tech Support .

Advice From Men To Women

GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ANY WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAPPEN UPON A COPY OF THIS: 1) The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location. 2) Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing. 3) When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen. Kissing should only be done during timeouts and commercials. Questions should also be limited to this period as you stand a much better…

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How to screw up an interview

We’ve all been interviewed for jobs. And, we’ve all spent most of those interviews thinking about what not to do. Don’t bite your nails. Don’t fidget. Don’t interrupt. Don’t belch. If we did any of the don’ts, we knew we’d disqualify ourselves instantly. But some job applicants go light years beyond this. We surveyed top personnel executives of 100 major American corporations and asked for tories of unusual behavior by job applicants. ************************************** The lowlights: ************** 1. “… stretched out…

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‘No Work’ Excuses for Mondays

I can’t come in to work today because I’ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK? When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can’t get off the john, but I feel good about it. I can’t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation. If it…

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Read Joke‘No Work’ Excuses for Mondays