Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
SOUTHERN SAYINGS….. 1. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.” 2. “It’s been hotter’n a goat’s butt in a pepper patch.” 3. “He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.” 4. “Have a cup of coffee, it’s already been ‘saucered and blowed.’” 5. “She’s so stuck up, she’d drown in a rainstorm.” 6. “It’s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs.” 7. “My cow died last night so I don’t…
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An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together. After the husband’s exam, the doctor then said to him, “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like discuss with me?” “In fact, I do,” said the man. “After I have sex with my wife for the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty. And then, after I have sex with my wife…
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A young child was constantly picked on by an older one, who would make him cry. His Mother told him, “The next time he bullies you, hit him as hard as you can!” The younger boy saw the bully in the park the next day, snuck up behind him and hit him in the back of the head, super hard, knocking the bully out cold. The little kid went home and bragged to his Mother about his success. His Mother…
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There was a little boy in kindergarten. At the end of one cold winter day, when all the other children were leaving, the teacher found him crying, so she asked him what was wrong. He sobbed, “I can’t find my boots.” The teacher looked around the classroom and saw a pair of boots. “Are these yours?” “No, they’re not mine,” said the little boy, shaking his head. The teacher and the boy searched all over the classroom for his boots.…
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Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…
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Two retired men were sitting in the bar at their local golf club, after an appauling round, in rainy, cold miserable conditions, with a pint of beer each. “That was awful today,” said the first man, staring at the table through his pint glass. “Yeah, it was the worst I’ve ever played,” replied the second. “I wonder, do you think they have golf in heaven? I hope so. Just imagine it, the lush rolling hills, crystal clear lakes, immaculate greens,…
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The English language is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England or French Fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And…
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One day a boy and a girl were French Kissing. When they were done, the girl says to the boy, “I think I have your gum.” The boy responds, “No, I just have a bad cold.”
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When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have called me a “dirty son of a bitch” to my face, I knew I must have done something wrong at the office New Year’s Party. The Office Manager called me from the hospital today, and as this is my last day on the job, I’d like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I…
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A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on their anniversary day. The husband gave his wife a gift, a tombstone, with the inscription: HERE LIES MY WIFE…. COLD AS EVER Later the furious wife bought a return present, also a tombstone, on which the inscription read: HERE LIES MY HUSBAND… STIFF AT LAST
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