Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Only in America…can a pizza get to your house faster that an ambulance… Only in America…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink… Only in America…do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry and a diet coke… Only in America…do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters… Only in America…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the…
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Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys. The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said,” I think I’ll get up and get a Coke.” “No problem,” said the physician, “I’ll get it for you.” While he…
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Parents are embarrassing, Take my dad. Every time a friend comes to stay the night, he does something that makes my face go red. Now don’t get me wrong. He is a terrific dad. I love him but sometimes I think he will never grow up. He loves playing practical jokes. This behavior first started one night when Anna came to sleep over. Unknown to me, dad sneaks into my room and puts Doona, our cat, on the spare bed.…
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I’m glad I’m a man, you better believe. I don’t live off of yogurt, diet Coke, or cottage cheese. I don’t bitch to my girlfriends about the size of my breasts. I can get where I want to – north, south, east or west. I don’t get wasted after only 2 beers, and when I do drink I don’t end up in tears. I won’t spend hours deciding what to wear. I spend 5 minutes max fixing my hair. And…
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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10. Beers at lunch get you reprimanded. 9. College sweatshirts are ‘casual’ instead of dress-up. 8. The 4 food groups are no longer beer, pizza, ramen and cereal. 7. Three Words: School Loan Payments. 6. Sneakers are now ‘weekend shoes’. 5. Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks. 4. You empathize with the characters from ‘Friends’. 3. Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone’s and Mad Dog. 2. You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. And the Number 1 Sign…
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A blonde took a trip to Las Vegas and decided too crash for the night. The quickly drove over to a Motel 6 and got a room. But as she was taking her luggage to her room she stopped in front of a vending machine, staring at it greedily. She quickly dropped her stuff and reached into her pocket to pull out her coins. She put the coins in the slot and pressed the button. A coke fell out of…
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Why did the blonde snort Nutra-Sweet? She thought it was diet coke!!!
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Dear Jenny, Ann Landers wouldn’t print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It’s about my son, Billy. He’s always been a good, normal ten-year-old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire,…
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1. Order 25 tacos at the drive-thru, then just pull off. 2. Demand to speak with that talking Chihuahua. 3. Ask for ketchup with your nachos. 4. Ask if they accept Mexican money. 5. Tell them you want a taco, but tell them without the shell. 6. Scream “VIVA GORDITAS!” the whole time you are in there. 7. Order nachos; without cheese. 8. Ask if you can super size your taco. 9. Claim that you are the voice-over guy for…
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