Coffee room Jokes

Rest Room Signs

RESTROOM SIGNS Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men —Women’s restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?” —Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit. —Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina To do is to be – Descartes To be is to do – Voltaire Do be…

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Read JokeRest Room Signs

The Lighter Side of Room Service

This telephone exchange between a hotel guest and room service at a hotel in Asia was recorded and then published in the Far East Economic Review : Room Service: “Morny. Ruin sorbees.” Guest: “Sorry, I thought I dialed room service.” Room Service: “Rye… Ruin sorbees… morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??” Guest: “Uh… yes… This is Room 203. I’d like some bacon and eggs.” Room Service: “Ow July den?” Guest: “What??” Room Service: “Ow July den?… Pry, boy, pooch?” Guest: “Oh,…

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Read JokeThe Lighter Side of Room Service

Some abbreviations for the Chatrooms

\_/ \_/………………..Soda (~~)? (~~)3…………Coffee mugs (_)?……….Tea cups (fine china) [%]D..Hot cocoa w/mini marshmallows (#$#$#$#$#$).Plate of hash browns and onions [:::] [:::]………Poptarts for all (sgeg)===……Pan of scrambled eggs >> @–>–>– ……………….A rose ())))___crayola___)))>…..Crayolas (::waving::)……………..Waving {{{screen name here}}}…..Personal Cyber hugs {{{ }}}…………..Lots of Hugs 🙂 …………………….Smile or :o) ……with round nose (:D) ………………….Big Grin :o…………………….Surprised :O………………REALLY Surprised :D……………..Laughing/smiling :oD…………………..with nose :+ or :o+………………Kiss :* or :o*………………Whistle 😉 or ;o)………………Wink 😡 or :ox…….My lips are sealed }:(……………………..Mad 🙁 or :o(………………Frown :'( or :,(…

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Read JokeSome abbreviations for the Chatrooms

A Full Cup of Coffee

The young clerk’s responsibilities included bringing the judge a hot cup of coffee at the start of every day. Each morning the judge was enraged that the coffee cup arrived two-thirds full. The clerk explained that he had to rush to get the coffee delivered while it was still hot, which caused him to spill much of it along the way. None of the judge’s yelling and insults produced a full cup of coffee, until he finally threatened to cut…

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Read JokeA Full Cup of Coffee

Complicated Order

A resident in a seaside hotel breakfast room called the head waiter to his table. “I want two boiled eggs, one of them so undercooked it’s runny, and the other so overcooked, it’s tough and hard to eat. Also, give me some grilled bacon that has been left on the plate to get cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it’s impossible to spread;…

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Read JokeComplicated Order

Thoughts from within my brain…

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station… What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP? If Stop & Shop and the A&P were to merge would it be called Stop & P? I believe five out of…

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Read JokeThoughts from within my brain…

Bigger Breasts at Any Cost

Once there was this woman who was, sad to say, very flat chested. Year after year of seeing beautiful, large-breasted women walking away with handsome guys finally got the best of her. She decided that she would have large tits at any cost. At first she went to a breast treatment center and asked for larger breasts. After several weeks, despite all the injections and fillers they had given her, her breasts were no larger. She despaired. She went everywhere,…

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Read JokeBigger Breasts at Any Cost

The Shitty Layers of Hell

A guy died, went to hell, and was greeted by the devil. The devil led him to a hallway and told him to choose 1 of 3 rooms to spend the rest of eternity in. He opened the first door to find a group of people standing on their heads on a wood floor. He thought that looked extremely uncomfortable, so he opened the second door. Here he found a group of people standing on their heads on a concrete…

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Read JokeThe Shitty Layers of Hell

Church Talk

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee. The first woman tells her friends. “My son is a Priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him Father.” The second woman chirps, “My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room people call him your Grace.” The third crone says, “My son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say your Eminence.” The fourth woman continued sipping her coffee in silence, so the first three women…

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A-Z on men

1. Men are like department stores…. their clothes should always be half off. 2. Men are like vacations…. they never seem to be long enough. 3. Men are like computers… hard to figure out and never have enough memory. 4. Men are like coolers… load them with beer and you can take them anywhere. 5. Men are like chocolate bars…. sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like coffee…. the best ones are rich,…

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Read JokeA-Z on men