Co worker Jokes - page 7

Five Minutes to Live

A man was walking down the street when he bumped into a construction worker. They get into a conversation, and the man asks the worker what he would do if he only have five minutes to live. “Well, I haven’t lived a very passionate life, so I supposes I’d screw anything that moved,” he answered. “What would YOU do?” “I’d stand perfectly still.”

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New Earring

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing a single earring. This man knows his co-worker is normally a pretty conservative fellow, and he is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings now.” “Don’t make such a big deal of it. It’s only an earring!” he replies sheepishly. “So? How long have you been wearing one?” “Ever…

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Little Known Facts

Did you know that.. The average chocolate bar has 8 insect legs in it. The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night. Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn’t wear pants. Marilyn Monroe had six toes. If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white. The names of all the continents start with the same letter that they end with. If the population of China walked past you in…

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American Idioms

True Story: I went to lunch at an Olive Garden restaurant with a group of co-workers one day. One of the guys who went with us, Ilya, is a Russian immigrant who is still working on his English skills. I had been encouraging him to use more American idiomatic expressions and slang. The waitress at the restaurant seemed very nervous. When she brought out the drinks she spilled them all over the table. Of course everyone broke out laughing. Except…

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10 Ways To Know Your Employees Wants You Dead!

10. When you find a voodoo doll hanging in the breakroom that looks exactly like you. 9. When you fire an employee and he/she smiles and says “I’ll be back in a minute.” 8. If you find a “get-a-free-hair-cut-while-you-shower” coupon on your dest. 7. When you find framed pictures on the memo board of deranged postal workers. 6. When everyone swears it was a mistake in holding your birthday party at a demolition site. 5. When your employees buys a…

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A spit for $10

After Saddam invaded Kuwait he decided that he wanted more money. So he ordered 3 men with no jobs. He told the first one: “Here you are,” as he handed him a key. “This is the key for a supermarket. I want you to get me $10,000 in a week from it’s profit.” So away he went with the key. He told the second: “Here you are,” as he handed him another key. “This is the key for a boutique.…

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The Plan

In the Beginning was the plan. And then came the assumptions. And the assumptions were without form. And the plan was completely without substance. And the darkness was upon the face of the workers. And they spoke among themselves saying: “It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh.” And the workers went unto their supervisors, and sayeth: “It is a pail of dung, and none can abide the odor Thereof” And the supervisors went unto their managers and sayeth…

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