confused archeologist
How do you confuse an archeologist? You give him a used sanitary napkin and ask him from which period it was
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Co ed Jokes - page 2
More ‘Why aren’t you married yet?’ COMEBACKS!
“I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.” “Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.” “My co-op board doesn’t allow spouses.” “I’d have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.” “They just opened a great singles bar on my block.” “I wouldn’t want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.” “I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo doll rituals.” “What? And lose all the money I’ve invested…
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Constipated Construction Worker
A construction worker tells his doctor, “I’m constipated.” The doctor examines him for a few minutes and says, “Lean over the table.” After he does so, the doctor whacks him on his ass, with a baseball bat. A loud “CRACK!” is heard, and the doctor sends the man to the bathroom. After coming out of the bathroom, the construction worker says, “I feel great! What should I do to prevent constipation in the future?” The doctor says, “Stop wiping your…
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Gynecologist turned Auto Mechanic
After nearly forty years in practice as a gynecologist, John decided he had enough money to retire and take up his real love, auto mechanics. He left his practice, enrolled in auto mechanics school, and studied hard. The day of the final exam came and John worried if he would be able to complete the test with the same proficiency as his younger classmates. Most of the students completed their exam in two hours. John, on the other hand, took…
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Consider it Blessed
A priest and a rabbi operated a church and a synagogue across the street from each other. Since their schedules intertwined, they decided to go in together to buy a car. After the purchase, they drove it home and parked it on the street between them. A few minutes later, the Rabbi looked out and saw the priest sprinkling water on their new car. It didn’t need a wash, so he hurried out and asked the priest what he was…
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The Recovered Sofa
Maybe you can assist me with a problem which I’m having with a friend. She owns a used furniture store, and a few weeks ago the store was burglarized. The only thing taken was a big, beautiful, high-back fabric sofa, valued at over $1,000. My friend was devastated, as it was the finest used item in the entire store. Police speculate that it was the only item stolen, simply because the thieves were not able to carry anything else out…
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They decorated it!
Apparently a Minuteman missle crew has painted the massive concrete door atop one of their ICBM silos to look like a pizza box. It has the logo: “Delivery anywhere in the world within thirty minutes, or the second one’s free.”
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If Edgar Allen Poe had used a computer…
Suppose Edgar Allen Poe Had Used a Computer… Once upon a midnight dreary, Fingers cramped and vision bleary, Systems manuals piled high and Wasted paper on the floor. Longing for the warmth of bed sheets Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets, Having reached the bottom line, I took a floppy from the drawer. Typing with a steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command, And waited for the disk to store, Only this and nothing more. Deep into the monitor…
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Acme Computerized Crystal Ball
A representative of the Acme Company was making a product presentation of the Acme Computerized Crystal Ball to an executive of a top marketing firm. The Acme representative was bragging that the Acme Computerized Crystal Ball could answer any questions about a person’s past, present and even future. Such claims, however, made the marketing executive very skeptical. Seeing the bored expression of the skeptical marketing executive, the Acme representative then requested the executive to try the Acme Computerized Crystal Ball.…
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Confused elephant
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man? A: How can you breathe through that thing?
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