Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A priest and a nun were enjoying a ride through the Sahara desert when halfway through the journey their camel suddenly collapsed on the sand, lifeless. “Now, we have no choice but to walk back,” said the priest. About two miles into their walk the nun says, “Father, it’s extremely hot out here in the desert, would you mind if I removed my habit?” To which the preist replies, “Of course not, my child, I’m sure that God would understand…
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1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clock to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing football; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him, “I need some…
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A little old lady’s phone rings late one night and she answers it. “Hello?” A deep voice on the other end says, “I know you, you’d like me to push you down on the bed and rip all your clothes off, lick your body all over and make rough love to you.” The old lady looks at the phone blushing and in amazement and replies, “Wow. You can really tell all this from a single ‘Hello?’”
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Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising along a country road one evening when a cow ran in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it, but couldn’t–the cow was killed. Hillary told her driver to go up to the farm house and explain to the owners what had happened. About an hour later, the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar…
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Blondes, having endured years of abuse, have finally responded. Here’s what they have to say about redheads and brunettes! ********* REDHEADS ********* How do you get a redhead to argue with you? Say something How do you get a redhead’s mood to change? Wait 10 seconds If you love a Redhead, set her free … if she follows you everywhere you go, she pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, she’s yours.…
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…
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10. Your car can actually go airborn when driving over hills at high speeds. 9. Never flip off the elderly, they may have heart conditions. 8. If you see a pedestrian crossing the road, do not speed up and take bets on whether they will make it or if they will have to run back. 7. If you have little kids in the car and you see a rabbit hopping across the road, do not speed up and say “wow…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for the week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises you will be totally prepared for the test. And, best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises right in your own home. EXERCISE #1: Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of…
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There were these two old women, Ethel and Bertha, that lived in a nursing home. There were these two old men, Paul and Bill, that the old women liked, but the men paid them no attention. The women did everything to get their attention. They cooked them their favorite meals, they flirted with them, etc. One day Ethel said to Bertha, “I know something we can do to get their attention!” Bertha replied, “Well, what is it?” Ethel said, “Let’s…
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