Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An old couple decided to go to the same hotel they went to on their honeymoon for their 50th Anniversary. The husband is sitting in bed when his wife takes off her clothes at the foot of the bed and says, “Do you remember what you were thinking when you first saw me naked 50 years ago?” “Yes,” said the husband, “I was thinking that I was going to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry.” “And what…
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20. I’m going to give you ten pence, so you can phone your mum and tell her you won’t be coming home. 19. Why not sit on my lap, and we’ll see if anything comes up. 18. Can I check the label on your bra? Why? To see if those tits really are made in heaven. 17. Your daddy must have been a baker, because you have got a great set of buns. 16. Are your legs tired? Why? Because…
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A young man had seriously dated three girls and was finally faced with the dilemma of which to marry. As a test he gave each of them one thousand dollars. The first girl went for a complete hair and face makeover, new clothes, and new shoes. She returned to show off her new look saying, “I want to be at my most beautiful for you. Why? Because I love you dear!” The second girl returned with new hockey and golf…
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Arriving for her artificial insemination, Mrs. Aldiss was surprised when the attendant locked the door behind them and began taking off his clothes. “And just what do you think you’re doing?” she demanded. “Sorry,” said the young man, “but we’re all out of the bottled stuff. I’ve got to give you draft.”
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One day the sheriff sees Billy Bob walking around town with nothing on except his boots. The sheriff asks, “Billy Bob, what the hell are you doing walking around town undressed like that?” Billy Bob replies, “Well Sheriff, me and Mary Lou was down on the farm and we started a-cuddlin’. Mary Lou said we should go in the barn and we did. Inside the barn we started a-kissing and a-cuddlin’ and things got pretty hot and heavy. Well then…
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TO DRIVE A BMW YOU HAVE TO WEAR THE RIGHT CLOTHES,TALK ON THE RIGHT CELL PHONE, USE THE RIGHT TENNIS RACQUET, DRINK THE RIGHT BOTTLED WATER. ALL A COWBOY HAS TO REMEMBER IS……….THE SADDLEHORN GOES IN FRONT!
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1. I think Barry Manilow is one cool motherfucker. 2. No I don’t want another beer. I have to work tomorrow. 3. Her tits are just too big. 4. Sometimes I just want to be held. 5. That chick on “20/20” gives me a woody. 6. Sure! I’d LOVE to wear a condom. 7. We haven’t been to the mall for ages, let’s go shopping and I can hold your purse. 8. Screw Monday Night Football; let’s watch “Ally McBeal”.…
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Here are some examples of WHY English is the most difficult language to learn: We polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. A farm can produce produce. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. The present is a good time to present the present. At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum. The dove dove…
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OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out names and addresses of people you don’t know. WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists. A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity. BUS DRIVERS: Pretend you’re an airline pilot, by…
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We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart? Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. I get enough exercise just pushing my luck. All men are idiots, and I married their King. Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition. OK, who stopped payment on my reality check? Time is the best teacher, unfortunately it kills all of its students. Pride is what we…
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