Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man and his wife are driving down a deserted road while on vacation. In the deepening gloom, the man fails to see a deer in the road until the last second. In a panic he swerves and drives off the road, down an embankment and into a tree. Now, the collision was so bad that the couples clothes were shredded and they were left essentially naked. The husband was trapped in the wreckage but the wife managed to free…
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“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” said Jack as he stepped out of the shower. “Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?” “Probably that I married you for your money!”
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Commentary by Ernest Murray “Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” – Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann. “I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” – A senior basketball player at the University of Pittsburgh. “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” – Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach. “That’s so when I forget how to spell…
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A student sits for an English examination. He solves the first two question. While solving the third question, he starts to remove his clothes. First his shoes, then his socks, then then his shirt and pants. Another student sitting behind him was disturbed by his behaviour. He asked him, “Hey! Why are you removing your clothes?” He replied, “That’s what the third question says.” The other boy asks, “What’s the third question?” He answers, “Answer in brief. “
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother………………………….Please Gogh His dizzy aunt ……………………………….Verti Gogh The brother who ate prunes……………………..Gotta Gogh The brother who worked at a convenience store…….Stopn Gogh The grandfather from Yugoslavia…………………U Gogh The brother who bleached his clothes white……….Hue Gogh The cousin from Illinois……………………….Chica Gogh His magician uncle…………………………….Wherediddy Gogh His Mexican cousin…………………………….Amee Gogh The Mexican cousin’s American half brother……….Grin Gogh The nephew who…
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A very old couple book a honeymoon suite in a five-star hotel to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. The bell boy, while taking their luggage to the suite, thinks to himself, “At their ages, they are booking a suite. What a waste!” After leaving them in their room with a a very heavy tip, he decides to spy on them. That night he sits in the lobby opposite their room. All night long he hears laughing and clapping sounds from…
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Mary was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day, she was in bed with her boyfriend Ralph, when she heard her husband’s car pull in the driveway. She yelled at Ralph, “Hurry! grab your clothes and jump out the window, my husband is home early!” Ralph looked out the window and said, “I can’t jump out the window! It’s raining like hell out there.” Mary cried, “If my husband catches us in here,…
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1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…
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My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth–that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally–but I didn’t want to upset him. I once heard the voice of God. It said “Vrrrrmmmmm.” (Unless it was just a lawn mower.) I don’t know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine…
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