Closing time Jokes - page 2

American Cuisine

Two immigrants, new to America, are wandering around on their first day off the boat in New York City, seeing the sights. Pretty soon they realize it’s time for lunch and they’re hungry from walking around all morning. They see a street vendor selling hotdogs. The first immigrant says, “I can’t believe it! They eat dogs in America.” The second immigrant, although equally shocked, replies, “Well, we’re going to be Americans now, so we have to behave like Americans and…

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Good Dog

A butcher was about to close up shop one night when a dog walked in, carrying a paper bag in its mouth. The butcher tried to shoo the dog away, but it wouldn’t leave. Instead it set the bag down and barked at it. So the butcher looked inside of the bag, and found some money and a note. The note said: 1 lb Italian sausage 2 lbs Pork chops So the butcher filled the order, made change for the…

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Turkey Shopping

A woman walks into the butcher shop just before closing. She says, “Thank Heavens, I’ve made it in time! Have you a turkey?” The butcher opens his fridge and takes out his only turkey, and plops it onto the scale. It weighs 4 12 pounds. “Ah, haven’t you anything bigger?” the woman inquires. The butcher returns the turkey to the fridge, takes it out again, and plops it onto the scale, only this time, he keeps his thumb on the…

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Barbie And Ken’s Letters To Santa

Barbie’s Letter To Santa: Dear Santa: Listen, you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you…

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