Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Little Johnny went home early from school and started calling his mother and got no answer. He finally went upstairs and saw the bedroom door open a crack. When he peeked in, he saw his dad on the bed with the maid, so he quietly went outside and waited for his mother. When she showed up with some groceries, he said, “Mommy, Mommy, guess what I saw? I saw Daddy upstairs on the bed with the maid and they were…
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. “Boys and girls, what do we know about God?” A hand shot up in the air. “He is an artist!” said the kindergarten boy. “Really?! How do you know that?” the teacher asked. “You know–‘Our Father, who does art in Heaven….’”
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Dear dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you like you can $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. ***************************************** Dear son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even a hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task,…
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A kindergarden teacher wanted to teach her kids ‘grown up’ words one day. She would ask her kids to describe something and tell them the correct form of the words that were babyish. She asked the first student, “Nicole, what machine moves on railroad tracks?” Nicole answered, “The choo-choo!” The teacher said, “No, you mean the train.” Nicole replied, “The train!” The teacher rewarded her with a gold star. Next the teacher called on Kevin. The teacher asked, “What pet…
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One day in school, Tommy’s teacher asked him some questions. “Tommy, do you see the green grass outside?” “Yes” Tommy said. “Do you see the tree outside?” “Yes.” “Now go outside. Then look up and see if you see the sky.” Tommy went outside, and looked up. He came back inside and the teacher continued to ask questions. “Tommy, did you see the sky?” “Yes.” “Did you see God?” “No.” “Then therefore God does not exist, right?” A little girl…
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* If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. * Learn to work the toilet seat. When the lid is up, put it down. * Birthdays, valentines, and anniversaries are not quests to find that perfect present….again. * If you ask a question you don’t want an answered, expect an answer you don’t want to hear. * Sometimes we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. * Sunday sports — it’s like the full moon, or the…
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Clifton Fadiman had occasion to visit the kindergarten class of a highly progressive school attended by his son, Jonathan. The children were engaged in “rhythmic play,” where they were following the lead of their teacher, an energetic young woman, who danced about the room clapping her hands in time to the music of a record player. The docile pupils staggled behind her in ragged fashion. Later Fadiman drew his son aside and said, “I guess you have lots of fun…
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One day a boy was walking home from school when he came across an Indian and an elephant. The Indian noticed the little boy and said, “This elephant tell how old you are.” And the boy said, “Yeah, right!” Then the elephant stompped his feet ten times and the boy said, “Yes I am ten years old!” So he went home and told his mom and the mom went to the Indian with the elephant and the Indian said, “This…
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One day a little boy returns home from Sunday School. When his mother asks him what he learned he says he learned about Moses. “Well, what did you learn about Moses?” “Well,” said the little boy. “We learned about when he escaped Egypt with all of the Hebrews. And how they were trying to get away but Pharoah was chasing them with his army. But Moses was having trouble getting away so he radioed in for help. Then an airplane…
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ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION: Procreation without recreation. BOOKCASE: A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and Elvis collectibles. BULIMIA: Retched excess. CHIC: Considered smart without the deadening implication of intelligence. CLIQUE: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses. CONSULTANT: A jobless person who shows executives how to work. DENTURES: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one’s grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music. DNA:…
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