Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man goes to hell and shows up in front of three doors. The devil pops up and says, “You have a choice here behind these doors for what you want to do for eternity.” The man thinks this is fair and looks behind the first door and sees many people on a hot metal floor, standing on their heads and screaming. He quickly slams the door saying,”NOT THAT!” The man looks behind the second and sees many people standing…
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The Raiders Al Davis had finally put together the perfect Raiders team for ?98. The only thing he was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges, and even the high schools, and he couldn?t find a ringer quarterback that would ensure a Super bowl win. Then one night, watching CNN, he saw a war zone in Bosnia. In the background, out of the corner of his eye, he spotted a young Bosnian soldier with a truly…
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In this particular branch of the Army’s officer training school, the instructor was returning tests to the trainees. The students identified their work by the last four digits of their Social Security numbers. In the early hours of the morning, the instructor was calling out the numbers. “Four-seven-seven-zero?” he asked. “Here,” replied one half-awake lieutenant-to-be. Taking the paper, though, he realized he had mistakenly taken the wrong paper. “Seven-zero-seven-five?” asked the instructor. “Here,” repeated the student, gearing for trouble. “I…
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One day little Johnny came home from school and saw that a new house was being built down the block. His mom told him he could go watch if he promised to be very careful and stay out of the way. When he got back, he was very excited and told his mom he learned something new. “Take one end of this piece of string and go to the other end of the room.” After she did this, he tried…
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At Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill. “Johnny what’s the matter?” she asked. Little Johnny responded, “I have a pain in my side. I think I’m going to have a wife.”
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Bill Clinton was in the oval office, breathing a sigh of relief after being found not guilty in the Monica Lewinsky trial, when he found out he now may be found guilty in Contempt of Court in the Paula Jones case. “Oh, God!” Bill cried, “Please have mercy on me!” Immediately there was a bright light in the room and a voice boomed from the light. “Bill, this is God,” the voice said, “and I will grant you any three…
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Dan Quayle: “potatoe” A Massachusetts politician was accused of attacking and cursing another politician during a local meeting. The first politician was quoted in the local paper, “I did not attack anyone or say a single cuss word, and anyone who says I did is a damn liar.” Bill Clinton in 1992: “I will have the most ethical administration in the nation’s history.” Romanian minister on homosexuality: “We can’t legalize homosexuality. Half of the country will become homosexuals.” Bill Clinton…
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A pregnant lady walked into a bank in the middle of a robbery, and was shot three times in the stomach. She was rushed to the hospital and asked if the triplets would be ok the doctor said they will pass the bullet in nine years. Nine years pass and one of the boys came home from school and said, “Mommy, mommy, I shit a bullet!” and she said “That is normal.” Then another boy came out of the bathroom…
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ARE NORTHERNERS “BLUE-NECKS”? By now I’m sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins: YOU JUST MIGHT BE A YANKEE IF: 1. You think barbecue is a verb meaning “to cook outside.” 2. You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY! 3. You don’t have any problems pronouncing “Worcestershire sauce” correctly. 4. For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits. 5. You don’t know…
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They’re supportive. They’re uplifting. They help you to achieve new heights. You expect to find them in your underwear drawer. If they’re too uptight, it’s easy to loosen them up. You can let them under your shirt on a first date. It’s legal to lock them in the dryer. They coordinate with your underwear (not to be confused with men, who are coordinated once in your underwear). If you outgrow them, it’s easy to throw them away and get a…
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