Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This is a specially-formulated diet designed to help women cope with the stress that builds up during the day. BREAKFAST 1 grapefruit 1 slice whole-wheat toast 1 cup skim milk LUNCH Small portion lean, steamed chicken 1 cup of spinach 1 cup herbal tea 1 Hershey kiss AFTERNOON SNACK The rest of the kisses in the bag 1 tub of Hagen Daas ice cream with chocolate-chip topping DINNER 4 bottles of wine (red or white) 2 loaves garlic bread 1…
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Man: Haven’t I seen you someplace before? Woman: Yes, that’s why I don’t go there anymore. Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there considers you a slut. Man: Is this seat empty? Woman: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down. Man: Probably because you will be on your knees gobbling my cock. Man: Your place or mine? Woman: Both. You go to yours and I’ll go to mine. Man: That’s cool, ’cause after I…
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35 Fun Things to do When Driving 1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged. 2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang. 3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling. 4. Two words: Chicken suit. 5. Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better. 6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector…
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A city slicker moves to the country and decides he’s going to raise chickens. He heads to the local co-op and tells the man, “Give me 100 baby chickens.” The co-op man complies. A week later, the man returns and says, “Give me 200 baby chickens.” The co-op man complies. Again, a week later, the man returns. This time he says, “Give me 500 baby chickens.” “Wow!” the co-op man replies. “You must really be doing well!” “Naw,” said the…
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There is a parrot that swore like a sailor. He could swear for 5 minutes straight without repeating himself. The trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird’s foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, “QUIT IT!” But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever. The…
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Thursday’s Schedule for the new Fall Television season: NBC 8:00 Friends 8:30 Girlfriends 9:00 One Guy with Several Female Friends 9:30 My Gay Friends FOX 8:00 Real Humans in Real Pain 8:30 Feral Dingoes Eating Children on Tape 9:00 Jiggle It Beach 9:30 LA Chicks 10:00 Beverly Hills 90210: The 90,210th Episode UPN 8:00 The Unwatchables 8:30 Voyage To The Bottom Of The Ratings 9:00 Theoretically Existing Show 9:30 Praying For Syndication 10:00 The Last Thing You’d Ever Want To…
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After the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with a brightly-colored one. A few minutes later, the rooster walked in, saw all the colored eggs, then stormed outside and killed the peacock.
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Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt, and both manage to get a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, and both of those animals – you’ll have to leave one. We’d never make it over the trees on the take off.” “That’s baloney,” says one of the…
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There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part. The couple would leave the ceremony in…
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“Eat your dinner Moisha,” said his mother. “I’m not hungry Mama,” he replied. “But I made your favorite chicken soup,” said his mother. “It’s no use Mama,” said Moisha. “I’m too worried to eat.” “What are you so worried about?” enquired his mother. “Well,” Moisha replied. “I gave Mr. Cohen a cheque for $500 and I don’t have any money in the bank.” His mother nodded her head, picked up the phone and dialed. “Mr Cohen,” she cood. “That cheque…
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