Cheese Jokes - page 4

“The Law of Avoiding Oversell” When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse. “The Law of Common Sense” Never accept a drink from a urologist. “The Law of Reality” Never get into fights with ugly people; they have nothing to lose. “The Law of Motivation” Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster. “Boob’s Law” You always find something in the last place you look. “Law of Impossibility” Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn’t have…

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A hippy walks into a Bar and Grill. The waiter comes up to him and asks him if he wants anything. So the Hippy says, “Yeah, a cheeseburger. Not too well done, not too rare, but right in the groove.” So the waiter brings his burger and asks if he wants anything to drink. He says, “A cup of tea. Not too hot, not too cold, but right in the Groove.” The waiter is getting annoyed, but he brings the…

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1. If you eat something, but no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories. 2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda. 3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count as long as you don’t eat more than they do. 4. Foods used for medicinal purposes never count. e.g. hot chocolate, brandy, toast, Sara Lee cheesecake. 5. If you fatten…

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It has become pretty obvious to me that our present astrological signs have served their purpose and that we should get rid of them. When I’m out driving around I’ll see bulls, and once in a great while I suppose I’ll even see a ram. Up the street from me there’s some twins, but I don’t see them much. The rest of these things are just too obscure. You only see crabs on vacation. There are no lions, or scorpions,…

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