Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This guy in New York bought a lotto ticket everyday, and everyday he told his son, ” son, if I win the lotto, it’s going to be France, champagne and Brigitte Bardot.” The next day again he comes home shows the lotto tickets to his son and says, “son, if I win the lotto it’s going to be France, champagne and Brigitte Bardot.” Finally his son, tired of hearing the same thing, askes, ” Dad what if you dont win?”…
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A guy is strolling down the street in Chicago where he comes across an old lamp. He picks it up, rubs it vigorously, and out pops a genie. The genie offers to grant him one wish, to which the guy replies “I’ve always wanted to be lucky.” The genie grants his wish. So off the guy strolls, wondering how this will change his life, when he spies 10 dollars on the sidewalk. Not a bad start he thinks. As he…
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Two Newfies go into a bar and order “Champagne for everyone!” After the bartender does this, he ask the guys why they’re celebrating. The two Newfies proclaim: “We just finished a jigsaw puzzle, and it only took us two months!” “Two months, what’s so special about that?” said the bartender. “Well on the box it said 2-4 years!”
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Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour?” the Lord asked. “I could eat,” said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka. The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he were hungry, and Seymour again…
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When we moved into our new home, the first one we owned rather than rented, one of my husband’s friends gave him a bottle of champagne. In the hustle and bustle of getting settled, the gift was tucked away and temporarily forgotten. Three months later, we held a Christening party for our third child. Champagne flowed in celebration until, running short, we remembered our housewarming gifts. In front of our guests, I open the attached card and read it aloud,…
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ORIGINAL List (Before she’s 40 years old) 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially Successful 4. A Caring Listener 5. Witty 6. In Good Shape 7. Dresses with Style 8. Appreciates the Finer Things 9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises 10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover REVISED List (When she’s 40 years old and beyond) 1. Not too ugly 2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public 3. Works steady 4. Doesn’t nod off while she’s emoting 5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes…
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A Cowboy enters a restaurant in Dallas and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of champagne to be sent over to her — knowing that if she accepts it, she is his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send…
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