Casket Jokes - page 2

Diary of a Viagra Housewife

Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Wussy. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long that he…

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SAD NEWS

It’s always difficult to bring sad news, but you should know… There was a great loss in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song “Hokey Pokey” died. What was really horrible is that they had trouble keeping his body in the casket. They’d put his left leg in and… well, you know the rest.

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Dead?

A funeral service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for ten more years, and then dies. A ceremony is again held at the same place, and at the end of the ceremony…

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The Mule

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of their place. The farmer had tried to be nice to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly relationship. But, she kept nagging at them whenever she got the chance, making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing…

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Read JokeThe Mule