Butto Jokes - page 7

Fascinate

The 3rd grade school teacher says,” O.K. everybody, the word for today is fascinate, and you have to come up with a sentence using that word.” Little Cindy raises her hand and says,”I went to the zoo on Friday, and it was fascinating.” The teacher says, “That’s nice but we want to use fascinate, not fascinating.” Larry raises his hand and says,”I went to a movie Saturday and I was fascinated.” The teacher says,”That’s nice too, but we want to…

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Sewing on the Fly

Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house, exclaiming, “Maggie, cud ya be sewin’ on a wee button that’s come off of me fly? I canny button me pants.” “Oh, Angus, . . . I’ve got me hands in the dishpan right now. Go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin’ ya with it.” About five minutes later, there’s a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of…

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Whole Lotta Yo Mama

SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…

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Another Marine vs. Sailor Joke

A Marine enters the restroom and sees a sailor standing at the urinal, fussing with the thirteen buttons on his pants. The Marine says, “It must be a pain in the ass to have to mess with all those buttons every time you take a piss.” The sailor replies, “Yes it is! If I were a Marine, all I’d have to do is take off my hat.”

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Little Johnnie learns the word Fascinate

Little Johnnie’s teacher asked the students to use the word FASCINATE in a sentence. Susie raised her hand and the teacher called on her. She said, “The stars really are fascinating.” The teacher said, “No Susie, I wanted you to use just ‘fascinate’.” Scottie raised his hand and was called on. He said, “The museum we went to last week fascinated me.” Again the teacher said, “No Scottie, I wanted you to use just ‘fascinate’.” Finally Johnnie raised his hand…

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A Blonde In Las Vegas

A blonde took a trip to Las Vegas and decided too crash for the night. The quickly drove over to a Motel 6 and got a room. But as she was taking her luggage to her room she stopped in front of a vending machine, staring at it greedily. She quickly dropped her stuff and reached into her pocket to pull out her coins. She put the coins in the slot and pressed the button. A coke fell out of…

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Important Questions to Ponder

If Con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?…

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DEADLY pickup lines

1) If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole? 2) I’d like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. 3) If it’s true that we are what we eat, I could be YOU by morning! 4) How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or “fertilized”? 5) I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face. 6) My love for…

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Read JokeDEADLY pickup lines