Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in…
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A lumber jack is at the dentist’s office for a double root canal, for which the dentist insists he must administer laughing gas ans local anesthetics. The lumber jack smiles and proudly declines the laughing gas and anesthetics and says that he can bear the pain. The dentist tells the lumber jack that the procedure is excruciatingly painful and that he has never performed it without the pain killers. Still the lumber jack insists on not receiving the painkillers. The…
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Mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers: 1. Open your fly. 2. Take out your equipment. 3. Pull back the skin. 4. Do your business. 5. Let the skin forward. 6. Stow your equipment. 7. Close your fly. She did check on him often to see if he had learned the lesson, and heard 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. She was very happy until one day she checked and heard 3-5, 3-5, 3-5.
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Mr. Jones, returning from a business trip, was surprised to find his wife in bed with a strange man. Both were nude and looked like they had been doing a lot of hard screwing. “Why, you rotten bastard!” the husband exploded with rage as he grabbed his wife’s lover by the neck. “Wait darling,” said Mrs. Jones. “You know that fur coat I got last winter? This man gave it to me. Remember the diamond necklace you like so much?…
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Johnny paints a sign: WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A DIME; then tells his buddy Roy to get his red wagon and both sit under a shade tree in Johnny’s front yard, waiting for business. Kathy, across the street, is not to be outdone: WE MOVE ANYTHING FOR A NICKEL; tells Nellie to get her red wagon and both sit in Kathy’s yard. Johnny’s pissed…how dare that GIRL? Then, a flash…and Johnny hauls Roy across the street & says, “Let’s get…
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Hiss & POPA guy is going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud “hiss-pop” noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold,” explains the guide. “The popping sound is the needle poking a hole in the end of thenipple.” Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes…
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Henry and his over-developed wife were sitting in the stands waiting for the football game to begin. A friend walked over and said, “Hello Henry,” and gave Henry’s wife’s breast a little squeeze and walked away. A few minutes later another guy walked over and said, “Hello Henry,” then he too, fondled his wife’s breasts and walked on. This strange sequence of events went on for some time. Finally a man sitting next to Henry spoke up, “Listen pal, It’s…
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Two stockbrokers went to lunch. One looked at the other and said, “Let’s relax while we eat and talk about something other than the market or any kind of business at all.” “Good idea, Sam. Let’s talk about women.” “OK…common or preferred???”
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A devoted wife had spent her lifetime taking care of her husband. Now he had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to senses, he motioned for her to come near him. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my…
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Here’s the background: Ian works in a coffee, bagels, and sandwiches trailer on the campus of UNH. (The University of New Hampshire, for those not from the East Coast of the U.S.) Vinnie is his boss and the owner of the truck, and yes, according to Ian, this actually happened. Ian is telling the story. Her: Yes, I’d like a milk with some coffee in it. Me: So, that’s just a splash of coffee in a milk? Her: No, a…
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