Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I?ve learned… that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, and hope they panic and give in. I?ve learned… that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I?ve learned… that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I?ve learned… that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you?d better have a big dick or huge tits. I?ve…
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Otto von Bismark, the first Chancellor of the German Empire from 1871-90 had been conversing for a rather long time with the British Ambassador to Germany when the latter posed the question: “How do you handle insistent visitors who take up so much of your valuable time?” Bismark answered, “Oh, I have an infallible method. My servant appears and informs me that my wife has something urgent to tell me.” At that moment there was a knock at the door,…
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In 1928 Colonel John Rotherhampton arrives in Central Africa to take over command of the King’s African Rifles from retiring Lt. Colonel Peter Defries. The retiring CO is very pleased to meet his successor and over a cup of tea at the regimental mess is most enthusiastic about the regiment’s adjutant, Captain Harry S Smithers. The old CO so extols the virtues and soldierly prowess of Capt. Smithers that the new CO decides that he must simply meet this man.…
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British mathematician Charles Lutwedge Dodgson wrote the children’s stories “Alice in Wonderland” and “Through the Looking-Glass” under the pen-name Lewis Carroll. Queen Victoria was so delighted with “Alice in Wonderland” that she had a letter sent to the author stating that Her Majesty would be graciously pleased to accept any other works by the same pen. She was somewhat disconcerted to receive in due course a copy of “Dodgson’s Syllabus of Plane Algebraical Geometry.”
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After the successful D-Day invasion of France during World War II, General Dwight Eisenhower, the Allied Supreme Commander overseeing the invasion was inspecting a British section of the Allied Lines when German planes came over and strafed them. The party dived for cover. As soon as it was safe to emerge a senior British officer hurried across to see if Eisenhower was all right. Finding him unharmed, he expressed his relief in fervent terms. Ike thanked him for his solicitude.…
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Did you hear about the British Airways employee who took a call from this blonde asking the question, “How long is the Concorde flight from London to New York?” “Um, just a minute, if you please,” he murmured. Then, as he turned to check the exact flight time, he heard an equally polite, “Thank you,” as the phone went dead.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor once appeared on a television program in which guest celebrities attempted to solve viewers’ conjugal problems. The first question came from a young lady: “I’m breaking my engagement to a very wealthy man who has already given me a sable coat, diamonds, a stove and a Rolls Royce. What should I do?” “Give back the stove,” advised Zsa Zsa. (It was Zsa Zsa who once claimed to be a good housekeeper. After each divorce, she kept the…
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British essayist, novelist, critic and poet, G. K. Chesterton was an imposing figure in height and weight. His vast bulk afforded him certain consolations. He once remarked that it gave him an opportunity for gallantry. “Just the other day in the Underground I enjoyed the pleasure of offering my seat to three ladies.”
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