Boys boys boys Jokes - page 13

Dividing Nuts

Two boy scouts went on a nature hike in the hills picking hickory nuts. Along the way, they filled their small pails and then started to fill their pockets and shirts. When they could hold no more nuts, they started down the country road until they came across a cemetery. The boys decided that would be a good place to stop and rest and divide out the nuts. The two boys sat in the shade of a large oak tree…

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mountain family

At a cabin way up in the mountains a very large family was seated around a big dinner table and as is customary there was no passing of food. When they wanted something they just stood up and reached for it. Since the table was so long, some of the reaches were pretty far. One of the older boys was sitting at the end and wanted a slice of bread, so he stood up and reached all the way across…

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The Farrell Twins

Darryll and Darren were identical twin boys who lived in a fishing village off the coast of Maine. Darryll Farrell was married and Darren Farrell was single. Together they both owned a small, dilapidated boat. It happened that the same day Darryll’s wife died, Darren’s boat sank. Such is the karma of twins. A kind old lady met Darren on the street and mistaking him for his brother Darryll, said: “Oh, Mr. Farrell, I’m sorry to hear of your great…

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Notre Dame Football Confession

Years ago the chaplain of the Notre Dame football team was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a football player told the priest that he had acted in an unsportmans-like manner at a recent football game. “I lost my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents.” “Ahhh that’s a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be doin’,” the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a mark across…

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Saving the prez!!

One day Bill Clinton was out jogging and he accidently tripped and fell off a bridge into the cold water below… Three 10 year old boys were playing along the river and saw him fall in so they all jumped in and saved him and dragged him to shore. He was so thankful that he told each of them, “Boys, you just saved the President of the United States and each of you deserve a reward.” The first boy says,…

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Airborne Enlistment

After enlisting in the 82nd Airborne Division, I eagerly asked my Recruiter what I could expect from jump school. “Well,” he said, “it’s three weeks long.” “What else?” I asked. “The first week, they separate the men from the boys,” he said. “The second week, they separate the men from the fools.” “And the third week?” I asked. “The third week, the fools jump.”

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The Race

Two 8-year-old kids, 1 boy and 1 girl, decided to see which was faster in a race. They decided to run a best of three series to see who was faster. In the first race the boy won, and in the second race the boy won. “Why are boys so much faster than girls?” The girl asked. “I don’t know, let me ask my dad.” The boy replied. He went inside to ask his dad and his dad told him.…

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100 Blonde Jokes!

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…

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God, the Artist

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question. “Boys and girls, what do we know about God?” A hand shot up in the air. “He is an artist!” said the kindergarten boy. “Really?! How do you know that?” the teacher asked. “You know–‘Our Father, who does art in Heaven….’”

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Psalms 23

A pastor was giving a lesson to a group of children on the 23d Psalm. He noticed that one of the little boys seemed disquieted by the phrase, “Surely, goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life . . .” “What’s wrong with that, Johnny?” the pastor asked. “Well,” answered Johnny, “I understand about having goodness and mercy, for God is good. But I’m not sure I’d like Shirley following me around all the time.”

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