Boss Jokes - page 5

WWJD?

By now, you’ve probably all seen the new “slogan” that’s gotten every preacher’s attention coast to coast: WWJD, or What Would Jesus Do…. Contemplating that very question, here are some possibilities: 1. Call his Dad. Find out why Dad and Mom never got married. 2. Have dinner with eleven close friends and the one guy he just doesn’t like. 3. Get some sleep. 4. Hang around for a while and catch some sun. 5. Get up early on Sunday, even…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWWJD?

dumb blonde

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.” “I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for the day… we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off and relax.” The blonde very calmly explains, “No, I’d be better off here. I need…

(1)Loading...

Read Jokedumb blonde

Sleeping Pills

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it. So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed. Tom slept well and in fact, beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work. “Boss”,…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeSleeping Pills

Dilbert Quotes

A magazine recently ran a “Dilbert quotes” contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are some of the submittals. 1. As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks. 2. What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter. 3. E-mail is not to be…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeDilbert Quotes

Horny on the Pipeline 2

A man is in Alaska working on a pipeline. After time goes by, he gets horny and asks his boss what they can do for “fun”. The boss says that since the entire camp of workers consists of only men, and there isn’t a woman around for hundred of miles, that there is a tree out in the woods with a hole in it. When the boys get horny they go and have sex with the tree. The man thought…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeHorny on the Pipeline 2

Special High Intensity Training

Subject: SPECIAL TRAINING TO: All Employees From: Management Subject: Special High Intensity Training In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be…

(7)Loading...

Read JokeSpecial High Intensity Training

Here’s looking at you

An extremely well endowed receptionist was primly seated at the front desk of a leading provider of Internet services and help. As was the policy of the Company – there were no dress codes allowed. Knowing that she might be able to attract a future husband in this well situated position and knowing that she would not be chastised for her appearance, she elected to wear a rather low cut blouse when she was at work. One day a very…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHere’s looking at you

Virus Warning

This virus warning is genuine. There is a new virus going around, called “work.” If you receive any sort of “work” at all, whether via email, internet or simply handed to you by a colleague…DO NOT OPEN IT. This has been circulating around our building for months and those who have been tempted to open “work” or even look at “work” have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeVirus Warning

Real Estate Broker Joke

An attorney is visiting his client at a large real estate development company. The attorney asks his client, “I have a good broker joke — do you want to hear it?” The client says, “You should know that I am a broker, my boss is a broker, and the Chairman of the Board is a broker. Now, do you really want to tell your joke in here?” The attorney thinks for a minute, and responds, “Naw, I don’t want to…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeReal Estate Broker Joke

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Frank phones his wife Angie at ten to five and tells her he’s bringing his boss home for dinner. Angie is furious that she’s had no time to prepare but when Frank and his boss arrive, she has miraculously made a marvelous veal marsala, with pasta, chianti and a spinach salad. She’s even managed to shower, change into a dress, and get their little six-year-old daughter, Stephanie, looking clean and pretty. As they are seated at the dining room table,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeKids Say the Darndest Things