Bob bob bob Jokes - page 2

Bob and Fred Go Fishing

Bob and Fred are fishing in the lake when one lands a corked bottle. He pulls the cork, and a genie comes out. “For freeing me from the bottle, I will grant you anything you wish,” says the genie. Bob looks down at the empty cooler in the boat and says, “I wish this lake was filled with beer.” There is the sound of a small poof, and suddenly the entire lake is filled with beer. Bob looks at Fred…

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BOB

There was a girl who wanted to get a tattoo on her butt cheeks. She wanted it to say baby blue. So she went to a tattoo place and ask the the tattoo guy if he could put baby blue on her butt cheaks. Baby on one side and blue on another. The tattoo guy said “OK, I charge $10.00 for each letter.” but the girl only had $20.00. The guy said, “Tell you what, how about if I put…

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Ballad of John & Lorena Bobbit

THE BALLAD OF JOHN AND LORENA BOBBIT (sing to the theme of the Beverly Hillbillies) Come and listen to my story of a man named John, A poor ex-Marine with a little fraction gone. It seems one night after gettin with his wife, She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife. “Penis, that is,” “Clean cut, missed his nuts” Well the next thing you know there’s a Ginsu by his side. And Lorena’s in the car takin’…

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Bridal Shower Joke

At a bridal shower, every guest was asked to introduce herself and explain how she met Kimberly, the bride-to-be. “I met Kimberly while dating her brother Bob,” the first young woman said. The second girl gave the same answer. The third woman said she was Bob’s current girlfriend. An older woman that was sitting next promptly said. “It’s nice to meet all of you,” she announced with a grin. “But I think I’d really rather meet Bob.”

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1957 Date

It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car. When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. “Carrie’s not ready yet, so why don’t you have a seat?” he says. “That’s cool,” says Bobby. Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do. Bobby replies politely that they will probably just go to the soda shop or a movie. Carrie’s…

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Already acting like a lawyer

Two plumbers, Bob and Phil, went bar-hopping every week together, and every week like clockwork, Bob would go home with a woman while Phil went home alone. One week Phil had had enough and asked Bob for his secret to picking up women. “That’s easy,” said Bob. “When you’re out on the dance floor and she leans in and asks you what you do for a living, don’t tell her you’re a plumber. Tell her you’re a lawyer.” Later Phil…

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