Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Today’s woman puts on wigs, fake eyelashes, false fingernails, sixteen pounds of assorted make-up/shadows/blushes/creams, living bras, various pads that would make a linebacker envious, has implants and assorted other surgeries, then complains that she cannot find a “real” man.
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It was a hot day in Mississippi and Helga, the family’s German housekeeper, had hung the wash outside to dry, baked a strudel and then went into town to pick up dry-cleaning and buy groceries. “Gootness zakes”, she thought to herself as she walked to the cleaners, “It sure iss hodt.” As she happened to pass a tavern, she pictured a frosty cold drink, so she went inside and sat down at the bar. “Afternoon, Maam,” smiled the friendly bartender.…
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A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes. In grief, the second monkey passed away two days later. Not knowing what to do with them, she finally decided to take them to the taxidermist and have them stuffed. After telling the owner of her wishes, he asked her, “Do you want them mounted?” Blushing, she said, “No. Shaking hands will be fine.”
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An old English couple was getting ready for bed when the husband said, “Honey, I love when you take off your blouse!” Blushing, the wife said, “Thank you.” The husband continued, “Honey, I love when you take off your bra!” “Even after all these years?” the wife asked. “Yes,” he replied. “Because then all the wrinkles come off of your face!!”
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There was a woman doing a report on Native Americans. The topic was going to be about the feathers that they wear. She went to the village and started looking around and decided to start with an Indian with just one feather in his headdress. “Excuse me sir, but why do you have one feather in your headdress?” asked the reporter. “Me Brave, me screw one squaw,” replied the Indian. A little discouraged the lady went to an Indian with…
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After the first presidential debate many soccer moms were flooding the salons clamoring for the “Algore look” — lots of blush and a liberal amount of hair spray.
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A couple took their young son for his first visit to the circus, and by chance their seats were next to the elephant pen. When his father left to buy popcorn, the boy piped up, “Mom, what’s that long thing on the elephant? “That’s the elephant’s trunk, dear,” she replied. “No, not that.” “Oh, that’s the elephant’s tail.” “No, Mom. Down underneath.” His mother blushed and said, “Oh, that’s nothing.” Pretty soon the father returned, and the mother went off…
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