Bitch Jokes - page 4

Car Crash Incident

One poor old fellow is driving along one day and has a really bad car accident… he wakes up in hospital and can only see out of one eye… the doctor looks at him and say “I’m sorry, but we had to replace one of your eyes… with a rounded piece of rimu tree” So when he gets out of hospital his mate comes round and tries to cheer him up by taking him to the bar. When they get…

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Women are from Venus?

Remember the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Well, here is a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing, Prof. Miller. __________________________________ In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a…

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Women…

What’s the difference between a woman on the back porch, screaming and bitching, and a dog on the front porch barking and yapping? The dog shuts up when you bring it inside.

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Nuns get a flat tire

A group of nuns were traveling in a car when it got a flat tire. They got out and tried to change it, but being rather unworldly did not know how to do it. Luckily, a truck came along and the male driver offered to change it for them. They gladly accepted. As the trucker jacked up the car, it slipped from the jack. “Son-of-a-bitch,” he yelled. The eldest nun said to him, “That is not nice language. We understand…

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Ballad of Bill

(Sing to the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies”) Well, dere once was a story ’bout a man named Bill; Da poor president couldn’t keep his willie still; Den one day he was workin’ at his desk, When in walks Monica and shows da boy her chest … Boobs, that is. Two of ’em. Bodacious ta ta’s. Well da next thing ya know, Monica is on her knees, Mouth open wide and as happy as you please; Bill sez, “oh yeah…

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Piccolo Player

One day a farmer caught a traveling salesman making love to his youngest daughter. Yelling “You son of a bitch!” he shot the amorous salesman in the groin with a .12-gauge shotgun. The screaming salesman quickly took off for town to find a doctor. He found one, but the physician took one look at the man’s dick and told him that nothing could be done for him. “Oh, please do something,” begged the salesman. “I’m a rich man and can…

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Who said that?

It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this. Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today.” Little Johnny says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.” Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?” Before Johnny can open his mouth,…

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Rejected Dr. Suess book titles

Rejected Dr. Suess Books- 1. One Bitch, Two Bitch, Dead Bitch, Blue Bitch 2. Herbert the Pervert Likes Sherbert 3. Fox in Detox 4. Who Shat in the Hat? 5. Horton Hires a Ho 6. The Flesh Eating Lorax 7. How the Grinch Stole Columbus Day 8. Your Colon Can Moo—Can You? 9. Zippy the Rabid Gerbil 10. The Cat in the Blender 11. Marvin K. Mooney, Get the Fuck Out! 12. Are You My Proctologist? 13. Yentl the Lentil…

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Read JokeRejected Dr. Suess book titles