Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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A man is walking down the beach and sees a old bottle in the sand and begins to play kick-the-bottle to amuse himself. After a while he picks it up, and a pissed off genie merges. She says, “Normally I grant 3 wishes, but in your case, you SOB, I am going to grant only 1.” He thinks a minute and says “OK, I want to wake up with 3 women in my bed.” She says “So be it!” and…
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Follow the instructions demonstrated in the dialogue shown, and YOU can get a free meal. No law-breaking is involved. This incident really happened…. Enter any eating establishment, which does NOT have a dining counter. Here’s how the conversation with the host/hostess MIGHT proceed: “I’d like to sit at the counter.” “I’m sorry, Sir, but we don’t have a counter.” “Yes you do.” “No, I’m sorry, but we do not.” “You have no counter at all, in this establishment?” “No Sir,…
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This is an actual job application someone submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment AND THEY HIRED HIM! NAME: Greg Bulmash DESIRED POSITION: Reclining. HA. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place. DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION Yes. LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle…
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The Top 39 Things You Would NEVER Hear A Texan Say: 39. “I’ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex”. 38. Duct tape won’t fix that. 37. Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael. 36. Come to think of it, I’ll have a Heineken. 35. We don’t keep firearms in this house. 34. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? 33. You can’t feed that to the dog. 32. I thought Graceland was tacky. 31. No kids in the back of the pick-up,…
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These are 10 different ways of knowing that your kid is too old for breast freeding. 10. He can open the blouse himself. 9. While sucking one breast he caresses the other one. 8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue. 7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt. 6. He uses the milk as a creamer for his coffee. 5. Your birth control pills interfere with his acne medicine. 4. After each feeding he has…
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A team of archaeologists were working when they came upon a cave. Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance. 1. A dog 2. A donkey 3. A shovel 4. A fish 5. A Star of David They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at least more than three thousand years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archaeologists…
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These are the nominees for the Chevy Nova Award. This is given out in honour of the GM’s fiasco in trying to market this car in Central and South America. “NO VA” means, of course, in Spanish, “it doesn’t go”. 1. The Dairy Association’s huge success with the campaign “Got Milk?” prompted them to expand advertising to Mexico. It was soon brought to their attention that the Spanish translation read “Are you lactating?” 2. Coors put its slogan, “Turn It…
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A young kid asks his dad if he can borrow the car for the night so his dad lets him have the car and tells him to be careful. About 4 hours later the kid comes home and has 3 flat tires and he is a bit upset. His dad asks what’s wrong so the kid shows his dad the tires. His dad examined the tires and pulled a piece of glass from a beer bottle out of one of…
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Dear Friends, This letter is being sent to you for I know that you are certainly interested in your lawn. The spring season is about to arrive, and it is time to act if you want a truly spectacular lawn this summer. This is a fertilizer chain letter. It will cost you nothing. Upon receipt of this letter, go to the address of the person on the top of this list and shit on their front lawn. You will not…
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