Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
1. Don’t ever lie to us, we always find out. 2. We don’t enjoy talking dirty to you as much as you enjoy listening. 3. Don’t say you understand when you don’t. 4. Girls are petty, get over it. 5. You don’t have PMS; don’t act like you know what it’s like. 6. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook. 7. If you talk about having a big…
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The Smiths had tried for years to have a child, and not having had any luck, they decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon”. Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the bell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come…
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Here are some film phrases to help you in your film viewing. Classic- A really boring movie that no-one likes. Ten Best- The 10 worst movies. (Usually Classics) Landmark- A really, REALLY boring movie. (Like 2001) New-Wave- The directors a lunatic, and no-one can make head or tail of the movie. Review- A biased analysis of a movie made by people who care about things like plot, theme and acting; things that have nothing to do with the enjoyment of…
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ONE- We want you to understand that we don’t give a shit about clothes, all right? Yours OR ours. All we need is one pair of tennies and one pair of church shoes. That’s it. TWO- Don’t talk to us while the television is on, all right? Very simple: Television is off, we talk. Television is on, we don’t talk. THREE- When you’re behind the wheel of a car, if you want to get aggressive, that’s fine, but don’t give…
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1. We both work and you got the check last time. Let me get it. 2. I don’t need another pair of shoes. I have a closet full of them I don’t wear now. 3. Maybe this isn’t the right time time talk about this. Let’s talk later. 4. We always talk about how I feel. How do you feel? If you don’t know, that’s OK. 5. You’re right, I’m wrong. I’m sorry. 6. I’m sorry I made such a…
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ONE- Foreplay is not a privilege; it is a birthright. TWO- If you take her out to a fancy restaurant, don’t try to subtly steer her away from the lobster, Diamond Jim. THREE- Quit blowing smoke up women’s asses about the sanctity and power they possess as life-givers and come up with some decent affordable child care. That way, maybe poor single mothers can go to work and get off welfare, and we won’t have to listen to any more…
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THE PERFECT DAY – FOR HER -8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses -8.30 Weigh in 2Kg lighter than yesterday -8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents – expensive jewelery chosen by thoughtful partner -9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil -10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer -10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry -12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe -12.45 Catch sight of husband/ boyfriend’s…
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A guy was driving his car down an old country road, when he ran right into a big mud hole and got his car stuck. Just so happens a farmer comes along on his tractor and says,” Hey stranger, I’ll pull you out for $20.00.” Well the guy had no choice, so he motioned to the farmer to go ahead. After the farmer had pulled the car out and had it on dry ground again, the guy says, “For as…
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One fine spring day, the Pope’s aide rushes into His office – “Your Holiness!! Your Holiness!! There’s big news! But it’s good and bad.” The Pope replies, “Well, give me the good news first.” His aide, beaming a smile says, “Jesus Christ has returned! He’s on the phone right now asking for you!” The Pope exclaims “What can possibly be bad about that?!” The aide replies, “He’s calling from Salt Lake City!”
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Three women are up for promotion but the company only has one position to give. The boss decides to put an extra $100.00 in each one’s envelope to see how they react. The first woman says, “Wow, an extra $100.00! I’m going shopping!” The boss notes this. The second says, “An extra $100.00! I’m going to buy more company stock!” The boss notes this. Third says, “An extra $100.00! Payroll must have made an error. I’ll go straighten this out…
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