Big rig Jokes - page 14

The Farrell Twins

Darryll and Darren were identical twin boys who lived in a fishing village off the coast of Maine. Darryll Farrell was married and Darren Farrell was single. Together they both owned a small, dilapidated boat. It happened that the same day Darryll’s wife died, Darren’s boat sank. Such is the karma of twins. A kind old lady met Darren on the street and mistaking him for his brother Darryll, said: “Oh, Mr. Farrell, I’m sorry to hear of your great…

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Job Selection

Manpower was recently selecting a new research officer for General Motors. Part of selction process involved asking the three shortlisted women what they would do if they were overpaid $5,000. The first women said that she would spend all the money on new clothes and shoes and hope that she wouldn’t have to pay it back. The second women said that she would invest the money on the Dow, double her money overnight and pay the $5,000 back. The third…

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The blonde

Judi was driving home one night when she was caught in a bad hail storm. The stones were as big as golf balls. Her car was dented pretty bad. Balking at the price to fix it, Judi was told by the repair shop guy, a smartass by trade, (noticing her bright blonde hair) to blow into the tailpipe REAL HARD when she got home, the dents would pop out. When she got home she started blowing into the tail pipe,…

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Snow in June

The big-rig driver stopped to picked up the girl hitchhiker in very short shorts. “What’s your name, mister?” she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck. “It’s Snow – Roy Snow,” he answered. “And yours?” “Me, I’m June Hansen,” she said. A few minutes down the road, she felt his gaze on her. “Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?” she challenged the trucker. “Oh, I was just thinkin’ what it might be like,”…

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World’s Greatest Charade Player

The world’s greatest charade player brags that he can guess any charade. A TV producer decides to use the charade player in a TV special. He issues a challenge offering the charade player a million dollars to guess a very hard charade on television. The Charade player agrees. Comes the big night, all the world is watching. The charade player is sitting on stage in front of a curtain. Music blares and the curtain opens to reveal seven nude young…

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Dear God,

Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,why don’t you just keep the ones you have now? Jane Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? Neil Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed…

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Politically-Correct Little Red Riding Hood

There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…

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100 Blonde Jokes!

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…

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Attitude

The newlyweds were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the big burly husband tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put these on”. She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your trousers”, she said. “That’s right”, said the husband, “and don’t you forget it. I’m the man and I wear the trousers in this family!” With that she flipped him her…

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A nasty bruise

I saw my mate Spag the other day; hadn’t seen him for some time. I was surprised to see that he had a nasty big red bruise right across his forehead. Horrible looking thing. I said, “Wow, what happened to you, Spag?” He said, “Well, me and the wife were doing it doggy-style out in the back yard, and there was a big clap of thunder, and she ran under the house.”

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Read JokeA nasty bruise