Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on…
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Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day in school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. It turns out that each boy likes the other’s present better, and so they trade. That night, when the Italian boy…
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“Mum, can I ask you something?” “Sure! What about?” “Well, you see, I’m already fourteen, and I think it’s proper that I should own one now.” “And what is this ‘one’ you’re referring to?” “Could you buy me a neat set of bras?” “No.” “But, Mum, my nipples are already prominent, and they catch attention.” “Nope.” “It will hide them better….” “I said NO!” “But all of my friends wear….!” “DAVID! How many times must I tell you that bras…
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“Haven’t I seen you before?” “Nice ass.” “I’m a Romantic.” “I’m poor.” “I need you” “My hand is tired.” “I am different from all the other guys” “I am not circumcised.” “I really want to get to know you better.” “So I can tell my friends about it.” “It’s just orange juice, try it.” “3 more shots, and she’ll have her legs around my head.” “She’s kinda cute.” “I want to have sex with her till I am blue.” “I…
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The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.” So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men,” says the Sergeant. “Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the…
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A desperate man walks into a talent agency and starts bragging, “Boy, have I got an act for you, wait till you see this. I got a talkin’ dog!” The agent is skeptical, but his curiosity gets the better of him, so he says, “OK, bring him in.” So the dog comes in and the man says, “Ok boy, what’s on top of a house?” The dog says, “Rrrroooff!” “Good boy,” said the man, “Now how does sand paper feel?”…
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The following are direct quotes taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians: By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had completely disappeared. She has had no shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.…
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Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? Norma Dear God, Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,why don’t you just keep the ones you have now? Jane Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? Nan Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? Neil Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed…
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It was back in the olden times when you drove carriages not cars. A little boy and his father lived outside of the town. The father told his son, he had to go to town and sell his pet duck because they needed the money. So the little boy is walking in the town and he is looking depressed and a woman is standing on the street and notices him. She walks up to him and says, “Why don?t you…
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A woman has been married to her husband for ten years, and for all those ten years her husband insisted on making love in the dark. No matter how much she asked him, he would never turn the lights on. One night she grew tired of this and turned on the light while they were making love and saw that he was using a dildo. She said, “Honey, is this what you’ve been using all this time? How could you…
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