Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Sam sees the postman once a week, and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise, it’s total peace and quiet. After 6 months or so of almost total isolation, he’s finishing dinner one day when someone knocks on his door. He opens it and there is a big, bearded Vermonter standing there. “Name’s Enoch… Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge… Having a party Saturday… Thought you’d like to come.” “Great,” says Sam, “after 6 months of this I’m ready…
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…
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SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females) 1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You, Too, Can Do Housework 3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How to Fill an Ice Tray 5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money 6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am 7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled “Don’t Wash my Silks”) 8. Parenting: No, It Doesn’t End With Conception 9. Get a Life: Learn…
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The average cucumber is at least six inches long Cucumbers stay hard for a week A Cucumber won’t tell you that size doesn’t count Cucumbers don’t get too excited A Cucumber never suffers from performance anxiety Cucumbers are easy to pick up You can fondle Cucumbers in the supermarket…and you know how firm it is before you take one home Cucumbers can get away any weekend With a Cucumber you can get a single room…and you won’t have to check…
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Here are some film phrases to help you in your film viewing. Classic- A really boring movie that no-one likes. Ten Best- The 10 worst movies. (Usually Classics) Landmark- A really, REALLY boring movie. (Like 2001) New-Wave- The directors a lunatic, and no-one can make head or tail of the movie. Review- A biased analysis of a movie made by people who care about things like plot, theme and acting; things that have nothing to do with the enjoyment of…
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These three guys are in a bar, having a few beers, and checking out the babes as they enter the establishment. One walks in, rather attractive, and they “discuss” her “rating, “which, of course, is on a 1 to 10 scale. One says, “I’d give her a 7… she’s really quite pretty.” Another agrees, and so does the third, but the bartender, bringing a new round of drinks to their table, overhears their rating of the young lass, checks her…
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Ron and Elaine had been married ten years, had no children, and were beginning to drift apart. Elaine told her mother one day that she thought her marriage was in trouble. “For God’s sake, Elaine”, said her mother, “you and Ron have to see a marriage counselor. Ron’s a wonderful guy, and you’ll never find anyone who’d be as good to you as he is.” So Elaine phoned her cousin Harriet, who’d been through marriage troubles herself, to get the…
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A man walks onto an airplane and takes his seat. He looks up and notices the most beautiful women he has ever seen boarding the plane. He is so nervous, and he soon realizes that she is walking down the aisle toward him. When she takes the seat next to him, he is anxious to begin a conversation with her. He asks, “Where are you flying to today?” She responds, “To the annual nymphomaniac convention in Chicago.” He is CRAZED…
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THE PERFECT DAY – FOR HER -8.15 Wake up to hugs and kisses -8.30 Weigh in 2Kg lighter than yesterday -8.45 Breakfast in bed, freshly squeezed orange juice and croissants; open presents – expensive jewelery chosen by thoughtful partner -9.15 Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil -10.00 Light work out at club with handsome funny personal trainer -10.30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, condition, blow dry -12.00 Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe -12.45 Catch sight of husband/ boyfriend’s…
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Canadian Funnies You know you’re from Canada when … 1. You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup. 2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 3. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas. 4. You’ve taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard. 5. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow. 6. You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with…
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