Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This guy and his dog went to a Lions game and the security guard told the man that he couldnt bring a dog into the stadium. The guy said, “Come on man he is a die hard Lions fan!” But, the security guard insisted, “No, its against rules but theres a bar across the street you can bring the dog to watch the game.” So they went to the bar across the street. They sat down and as they were…
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A male pastor walked into a neighborhood pub to use the restroom. The place was hopping with music and dancing until people saw the pastor. As the room quieted down, he walked up to the bartender and asked, “May I please use the restroom?” The bartender replied, “I really don’t think you should.” “Why not?” the pastor asked. “I really need to use the restroom!” “Well, I don’t think you should because there is a statue of a naked woman…
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A blind guy walks into the bar, picks up his seeing eye dog, and spins it around in the air. The bartender looks at the guy and says “Man, what in the heck are you doing?” the blind guy replies, “oh, just looking around.”
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A drunk guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “About 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later the guy comes back in and asks, “How tall are penguins?” The bartender said, “I already said that they are about 1 1/2 to 2 feet tall.” Then the guy walks out. A few minutes later he comes back in and says, “How big did you…
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Two ropes are walking down the street and see a bar. So the first rope goes into the bar, sits down at a stool, and orders something to drink. The bartender growls, “Are you one of dem ropes?” And the rope replies,”Well, yes, I am.” The bartender yells, “Well, we don’t serve your kind!” And he twirls up the rope and throws him out onto the street. The second rope gets pretty worried and thinks, “I better disguise myself.” So…
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A lady who had already had several drinks, walks into a bar, slumps on the bar and asks the bartender for a “martoonie wid a pickle in it”. The bartender somewhat amused by her request, fixes her a martini and places an olive in it. As soon as the bartender places the drink in front of the lady, she picks up the glass, downs the drink, slams the glass on the bar and says “Bartender, gimme anoder martoonie wid a…
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A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his throat to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. “Is…
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3 vampires walk into a bar. The first vampire orders a glass of warm blood. So the bartender puts a glass of blood in the microwave then gives it to him. The second vampire orders a glass of cold blood. So the bartender puts two ice cubes into the blood and gives it to him. The third vampire orders a glass of boiling water. “Don’t vampires only drink blood” the bartender says. The vampire pulls a tampon out of his…
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An English taxidermist is sweating his way through the Australian outback when he comes across a bar. He staggers in between the beer swilling locals and, in his well educated voice, asks the bartender, “May I have a gin and tonic, please, my good man.” One of the locals says to his mates, “Geez, cobbers, what kind of a fucking man?s drink is that?” Then, turning to the Englishman, “Hey! You! Yes, you, you fucking Pom! Gin and fucking tonic,…
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Stuck in a strange city by bad weather, the drinker was bored. He sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation, turned to the bartender and said, “Hey, about those Democrats in Congress…” “Stop–I don’t permit talk about politics in my bar!” interrupted the bartender. A few minutes later, the gent tried again, “People say that the Pope…” “Whoa, no religious talk either,” the bartender cut in. “Look, how about sex? Can I talk sex?” “Sure,” said…
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