Banana banana Jokes - page 3

Great to be a Guy

102 REASONS IT’S GREAT TO BE A GUY. 1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 2. Movie nudity is virtually always female. 3. You know stuff about tanks. 4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase. 5. Monday Nite Football. 6. You don’t have to monitor your friends sex lives. 7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter. 8. You can open all your own jars. 9. Old friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained…

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Considerate Bus Driver

A woman carrying a baby got on a bus and after paying the fare, took a seat behind the bus driver. Later on, a drunken man got on the same bus and after paying his fare, took a seat beside the woman carrying a baby. Since they were the only passengers on the bus, the drunk tried to strike up a conversation with the woman who tried her best to ignore him. Then the drunk took one look at the…

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Primate Experiment

Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After awhile, another ape makes an attempt with the same result; all the apes are sprayed with cold water. Turn off the cold water. If, later, another ape…

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Insult To Injury

A young lady and her new born baby was happily sitting in passenger train when suddenly a drunk appeared out of nowhere and looked at the baby and said, “That’s an ugly baby. A very ugly baaby!” Feeling insulted and totally mortified she called the conductor. She told the conductor, “This man has insulted me. I do not want to be here on this train with him. Please stop this train immediately so I can get off!” The conductor said,…

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Men are like…..

For you ladies (and men so you’re prepared), a little MEN ARE LIKE humor: MEN ARE LIKE… Floor Tiles, if you lay them right the first time, you can walk all over them for years. MEN ARE LIKE… Bank Accounts, without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest. MEN ARE LIKE… Blenders, you need one, but you’re not quite sure why. MEN ARE LIKE… Chocolate Bars, sweet, smooth and they usually head right to your hips. MEN ARE…

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Elementary, My Dear Watson Part 2

“Good afternoon, ladies,” says Sherlock Holmes to three women sitting on a park bench as he and his good friend Dr. Watson are taking an afternoon stroll through the park in London. When they are out of earshot from the three women, Dr. Watson asks, “I say, Holmes, do you know those ladies back there?” “No, Watson,” replies Holmes, “I don’t know the spinster, the prostitute and the new bride.” Astonished, Watson asks again in a surprised voice, “Good heavens,…

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Groucho’s Excellent One-liners

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Room service? Send up a larger room. He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don’t let that fool you. He really is an idiot. I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception. A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five. A…

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The Witch and the spiders

Once there were these three REALLY stupid spiders. All they ever wanted was to be smart. So, one day, they decided that they would go to a witch and see if she could make them smart. “So, you want to be smart,huh?”, the witch asked. “Ok, I will make you smart but first, you must go out and learn three facts by yourselves to prove that you really want to be smart.” The spiders agreed and were on their way.…

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100 Blonde Jokes!

1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…

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