Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One fine spring day, the Pope’s aide rushes into His office – “Your Holiness!! Your Holiness!! There’s big news! But it’s good and bad.” The Pope replies, “Well, give me the good news first.” His aide, beaming a smile says, “Jesus Christ has returned! He’s on the phone right now asking for you!” The Pope exclaims “What can possibly be bad about that?!” The aide replies, “He’s calling from Salt Lake City!”
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An old lady went to her doctor because she was concerned about some lumps she had found under her breasts. The doctor gave her a thorough examination and told her, “Ma’am I have some good news and some bad news.” She said the she would like the good news first. The doctor said, “The lumps under your breast aren’t cancerous.” The old lady asked what the bad news was. The Doctor replied, “The lumps under you breasts are your feet.”
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Bubba Wilkes goes in to see Dr. Smith. “Dr. Smith…I’ve got a problem!” exclaimed Bubba. “Just what seems to be the matter, Bubba?” remarked Dr. Smith. “Well, I’ve been having hot flashes on and off for the last 3 weeks and it’s really getting to bother me. Can you check me out to find out what’s wrong?” “No problem, Bubba,” said Dr. Smith. “You know we have one of the best labs in the country next door. We’ll do the…
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Several years ago, I returned home from a business trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 AM, I found my two children in bed with my wife, Stacey, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleep in the guest bedroom that night. The next day, I talked to the kids, explaining that it was “OK” to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad,…
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A doctor enters into a patient’s room and informs the patient that he has good news and bad news. He then asks the patient which news he would like to hear. The patient responds, “Doctor, give me the good news.” The doctor says, “Well we are gonna name a disease after you.”
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It’s a really busy day at work, so when the wife phones her husband, he says there just isn’t time to talk right now. “Oh, okay,” says his wife. “Just wanted to give you some news and some bad news. Do you have time for either?” The husband answers, “Well, like I said, it’s really a zoo around here. Why don’t you just quickly give me the good news, and I’ll get the bad news tonight when we’re home together?”…
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God looks down on earth and decides he’s had enough. With a crack of thunder, He summons to heaven the three most powerful people on Earth: Bill Clinton, Boris Yeltsin and Bill Gates. “Gentlemen,” God says. “I have called you here because I am truly disappointed in humans and decided to end the world. You have one week to prepare your people. With a crack of thunder, God sends all three back to Earth. Bill Clinton calls together his Cabinet…
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A man had gone to see the doctor several hours before and his wife was worried about him. Finally the doctor’s office called and the doctor said, “Mrs. Smith, I have some bad news. I’m afraid your husband is very sick.” The woman said, “Oh my God, what does he have, doctor?” The doctor replied, “Well, that’s just it- he either has AIDS or Alzheimer’s Disease. I need your help to figure out which one it is.” The woman, “Of…
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One day Mr. Purdue comes up with this great idea for the Catholic Church. Immediately he makes plane reservations to go to Rome. When he gets into Rome he makes an appointment to see the Pope. When he sees the Pope he says this: “It is great to meet you, your Eminence, and I have a little proposition for you. See, I was in church the other day and I thought of a great idea. Purdue Chickens is ready to…
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A construction worker fell to his death from a 12 story building. Two of his co workers were debating over who would tell the guy’s wife.John, a third co worker, volunteered his services, because he said he was really good at giving bad news. The two other workers saw John returning with a 6 pack from their dead friends house. the first worker asked John if he told the wife of the dead worker, he replied “yes, of course”, and…
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