Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be Today I sniffed Many dog behinds – I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Paper boy – come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I sound the alarm! Garbage man – come to kill us all Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I lift my leg and Whiz on each bush.…
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In a very crowded bus, one busy Monday morning, a passenger unable to resist an urge releases it silently, but the smell gets so bad that the people in the bus had to get out. The passengers, who were very annoyed asked the driver to send off the person responsible for the stinking act, but they were unable to point out who it was since everybody was accusing somebody. The accusations became very unorganised and the commotion attracted a big…
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Doctor : I have a bad news and an even worse news for you, Mr. Johnson. Johnson : Well..I’m ready. What’s the bad one? Doctor : You have a tumor in your brain, and about 24 hours left to live. Johnson : Now, what possibly can be a worse news than that? Doctor : Well..I’m very sorry Mr. Johnson. It’s just that I should’ve told that yesterday.
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Boudreaux & Thibodeaux were standing at Heaven’s Gate, waiting to be interviewed by St. Peter. Thibodeaux: “How did you get here?” Boudreaux: “Hypothermia. You?” Thibodeaux: “You won’t believe it. I was sure my wife was cheating on me, so I came home early one day hoping to find the guy. I accused my wife of screwing around and searched the whole house without any luck. Then I felt so badly about the whole thing I had a massive heart attack.”…
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You know those “special offers” that “you would be CRAZY to turn down”? Here’s how you might wish to respond to them: —————————————- To Whom It May Concern: Thank you for your recent e-mail to me. It was good hearing from you and reading your advertisement As information, I am a reasonably healthy male, over 40 years of age. If you sent me the ad/offer regarding how I may “enlarge my breasts,” I think I’ll pass, if you don’t mind.…
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One day God called the Pope and said to him, “I have good news and bad news.” The Pope says, “Give me the good news first.” God says, “I have decided to come right out and tell all of the people that there is only one true religion and that is the way it will be from now on.” The Pope replies, “That’s great, but what’s the bad news?” God says, “I’m calling from Salt Lake City.”
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A wife is going through her husband’s closet one day when she finds a metal box. Inside the box she finds 3 golf balls and $20,000. She immediately goes downstairs and confronts him with it. Wife: “What is this box for?” Husband: “Well, every time we had bad sex I put a golf ball in the box.” The wife thought this was pretty good seeing as how they had been married for 20 years. Wife: “What is the $20,000 for?”…
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Darryll and Darren were identical twin boys who lived in a fishing village off the coast of Maine. Darryll Farrell was married and Darren Farrell was single. Together they both owned a small, dilapidated boat. It happened that the same day Darryll’s wife died, Darren’s boat sank. Such is the karma of twins. A kind old lady met Darren on the street and mistaking him for his brother Darryll, said: “Oh, Mr. Farrell, I’m sorry to hear of your great…
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Years ago the chaplain of the Notre Dame football team was a beloved old Irish priest. At confession one day, a football player told the priest that he had acted in an unsportmans-like manner at a recent football game. “I lost my temper and said some bad words to one of my opponents.” “Ahhh that’s a terrible thing for a Notre Dame lad to be doin’,” the priest said. He took a piece of chalk and drew a mark across…
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A man was brought into the hospital care ward, put in a bed, had tubes coming out everywhere. A week later, another man was admitted in a similar condition. Both lay there, machines pinging, tubes poking, etc., for a couple more weeks before one of them had the strength to raise his hand and point to himself and say: “Scottish.” The other signaled he had heard, raised his own hand and said: “Irish.” This act tired them out so badly…
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