Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply (actual letter): “Upon review of your letter adjoining your client’s loan application, we note that the…
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One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the pearly gates by St. Peter himself. “Welcome to Heaven,” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an executive make it this far, and we’re not really sure what to do with you.”…
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Two senior couples are walking along, wives in front, husbands in back. Herb says to Sam, “Gee, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Good prices too.” Sam says, “Well, we like to eat out, too. What was the name of the restaurant?” Herb says, “You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, grows on a thorny bush?” Sam says, “You…
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She was sooooooooooooooo blonde, She sent me a fax with a stamp on it. She thought a quarterback was a refund. She tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order. She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. She thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools. She thought General Motors was in the army. She thought “Meow Mix” was a CD for cats. She thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday. Under “education” on her job application,…
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A man took a new job as a bus driver and was given a bus with a Sesame Street advertisement on the side. At his first stop he picked up two fat Irish women who’s names both happened to be Pattie. At his next stop he picked up a man named Ross. This man felt highly of himself and insisted that everyone call him Special Ross. At the next stop was a biker who didn’t have a name, but he…
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Coming back from a month-long business trip to Asia, a wealthy businessman arrived at the airport where he was fetched by his chauffeur named Jim. On the long drive home, the businessman inquired, “So, Jim, has anything happened while I was away?” Jim replied, “No, sir. I can’t think of anything at all worth mentioning.” The businessman said, “Come now, Jim. I have been away for almost a month. Surely something must have happened in all that time.” Thinking for…
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“Tell me,” asked an American of three Frenchmen, “what is sang froid? I know it means cold blood literally, but what are its connotations?” “That,” said Andre, “is best answered with an example. Imagine, my friend, that you are away on a business trip, but have come back unexpectedly soon, and find your wife in bed with your best friend. You do not wish to get emotional, to heat your blood. Instead you stay cool. If, like a true Parisian,…
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Two friends went out to play golf and were about to tee off, when one fellow noticed that his partner had only one golf ball. “Don’t you have at least one other golf ball?” he asked. The other guy replied that he only needed one. “Are you sure?” the friend persisted. “What happens if you lose that ball?” The other guy replied, “This is a very special golf ball. I won’t lose it so I don’t need another one.” “Well,”…
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On one BAD day, 1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers. A minute later they were both eaten by a killer whale. 2. A psychology student in New York rented out her spare room to a carpenter in order to nag him constantly and study his…
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An avid golfer goes to the local golf course to get in a couple hours of practice after work one day. He hits a large bucket of balls on the driving range, but still hasn’t corrected the slice he’s working on. Not having enough money to buy another bucket of balls and being all alone on the practice tee, he walks up the edge of the driving range picking up balls in the weeds and bushes so as not to…
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