Apple Jokes - page 3

BLONDE VISITS DOCTOR

“What seems to be the problem, Miss Appleby?” inquired the doctor. “Look at my ears, doc. They’re both burnt.” “My lord, how did that happen?” “I was ironing when the phone rang, but I mistakenly put my ear to the iron instead of the phone.” “How awful, but what about the other ear?” “The bastard called back.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeBLONDE VISITS DOCTOR

It shows you’re thinking

One day a teacher was doing an activity with her students in 3rd grade to figure out if they will think or not. So she goes in the corner and says, “I am holding something orange and round.” A kid then put up his hand and said, “It’s an orange.” “No,” said the teacher, “but it shows that you were thinking.” Then the teacher said, “Now I am holding something red and round.” “It’s an apple,” said a student. “No,”…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeIt shows you’re thinking

my boss

When I take a long time, I am slow. When my boss takes a long time, He is thorough. When I don’t do it, I am lazy. When my boss doesn’t do it, He is too busy. When I do something without being told, I am trying to be smart. When my boss does the same, That is initiative. When I make a mistake, I’m an idiot. When my boss makes a mistake, He’s only human. When I take a…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokemy boss

Itchy Blonde

A lovely blonde woke up one morning with a burning itch between her legs. She went to the clinic immediately. After she was examined, the doctor gave her his diagnosis. “Miss Appleby, you have acute vaginitis”. She smiled demurely. “Why thank you, Doctor.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeItchy Blonde

Truth about Creation

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God. “Lord, I have a problem!” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious, comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the reply from above. “Lord, I am lonely, and I’m sick to death of apples.” “Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeTruth about Creation

Kid’s Bible Stories

The following statements about the bible were written by children and have not been retouched or corrected (ie bad spelling has been left in.) In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off. Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals come on to in pears. The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with the unsympathetic Genitals.…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeKid’s Bible Stories

whats my son goin to be

A conserned farmer is wondering what his son is going to be when he grows up. So he takes his son to a psychic. The farmer askes the psychic, “Can you tell me what my son is going to be when he grows up?” The psychic says, “Yeah sure.” So the psychic puts the boy in an empty room with a table and chair. He places an apple, bible and a 50 cent peice on the table. The psychic leaves…

(0)
Loading...

Read Jokewhats my son goin to be

Waiter…. Oh Waiter!

Customer: Waiter! There is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry sir, the spider in the bread will get it. Customer: Waiter! There is a spider in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry! The frog should surface any moment now. Customer:Waiter, There’s another fly in my soup. Waiter: Now, there is a fly that knows some good soup. But if you insist I will get you the fly swatter. Customer: What is the fly doing in my soup? Waiter: It…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWaiter…. Oh Waiter!

Womb!!!

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day while the teacher had asked the kids whenever she gives a letter from A-Z use a word that starts with that letter then use it in a sentence. The teacher goes ahead with her lesson and Starts out with “A” well Johnny was the first one to raise his hand, but the teacher thinks to herself she had better not, because she knows how Johnny is. So instead she picks Sandra. Sandra…

(3)Loading...

Read JokeWomb!!!

Smart seeds

A Woman is walking trough the train searching for a seat, finally she finds one and sits down. Across the woman is a man with a bag of seeds… and the man is eating the seeds one by one. Curious the woman asks: “Why are you eating seeds?” “These aren’t just seeds,” explains the man, this are seeds of the smart apple tree.. when you eat these seeds you instantly become smarter.” “WOW!” answers the woman. “Will you give me…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSmart seeds