Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
On his third marriage already, Mr. Jones wanted to start a new life with a virginal young woman, since his marriages to worldly types were unsuccessful. He searched the country for a young innocent female — he classified by asking a simple question. Upon meeting a young lady he’d show them a picture of his member and ask them what it was. If the response was “dick” the lady was dirty and not worth marrying. After interviewing hundreds of ladies…
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Two men were out hunting one day,when one man says to the other i’ve gotta shit. His friend tells him to make sure he goes downwind so he won’t scare the deer. After the first man had been gone for about twenty minutes a huge deer comes walking up and the remaining man shoots it. When hisfriend didn’t yell out to ask if he killed it , he deciced he should search for the man. Thinking his buddy may have…
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A lawyer and a stunning blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains, “I ask…
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A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San Francisco’s Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks it up and asks the shop owner what it costs. “Twelve dollars for the rat, sir,” says the shop owner, “and a thousand dollars more for the story behind it.” “You can keep the story, old man,” he replies, “but I’ll take…
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Bill and Hillary were sitting in the bleachers, waiting for a baseball game to start. A row of secret service agents sat behind them and one leaned forward to whisper into Bill’s ear. Bill turned around, shrugged at the agent, then lifted Hillary by the scruff of the neck and the seat of the pants and tossed her out onto the field. The agent just shook his head and said “No, no Mr. President. I said ‘Throw out the first…
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An Eskimo newcomer just settled down on the outskirts of an Eskimo village. Since he was a stranger, he was not able to make friends that easily with his new neighbors. One day, a neighbor dropped by the newcomer’s igloo and said to the stranger, “I want to welcome you to the village but before you could be accepted as a member of this village, you will have to undergo three traditional initiation rites.” The Eskimo newcomer asked, “What are…
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Bill & Hillary had a fight about some flowers. She wanted roses on the piano, but Bill wanted tulips on his organ.
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“BIT” = A wager as in, “I bit you cain’t spit that watermelon seed across the porch longways.” “BYTE” = First word in a kiss-off phrase. “CURSOR” = What some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend. “FLOPPY” = When ya’ll can’t get it up no more. “DIGITAL CONTROL” = What yore fingers do on the TV remote. “HARD DRIVE” = Trying to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires while pulling a trailer…
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Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. –Ernest Hemmingway Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. –Winston Churchill He was a wise man, who invented beer. –Plato Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. –Lady Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. –Churchill’s reply When I read about…
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A memo…. Mr. John Hinkley St. Elizabeth Hospital Washington D.C. Dear John, Hillary and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our Country’s new spirit of understanding and forgiveness we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land. Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is born against you…
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