Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A worker on a construction site of a high rise building climbed all the way to the top of the building before realizing that he needed a second pair of hands to accomplish the task he had in mind. Not wanting to climb all the way back down, and also realizing that no one would hear him if he yelled, he signaled to the foreman on the ground. He pointed first to himself, then his knee, and then the foreman,…
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Two men, sitting side by side in a 747 jet, started to talk. One told the other that this was his first flight. They left New York City for Los Angeles. They landed in Chicago, whereupon a little red truck pulled up and refueled the plane. They again landed to refuel in Denver. Another little red truck pulled up to the plane. Then they took off once again. As they were about to land at their destination, the veteran flier…
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A jumbo jet took off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH NO!!!” Silence followed and after a few anxious minutes, the pilot came back on the…
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Three men die in a car accident. They all find themselves at the pearly gates, waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something that represents “Christmas.” The first man searches his pockets and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cookie, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of panties. Confused at this last gesture, the angel asks, “How do these represent…
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The Jumbo 747 had just reached cruising altitude on the flight from New York to Los Angeles when stewardess Cathy Moran brought the Captain and the Co-pilot hot cups of fresh coffee. “Thanks, gorgeous”, winked Captain Prescott. “You come up here and sit with me any time you want.” Cathy Moran was not flattered by his flirtations but she smiled and withdrew to resume her passenger duties. “Ladies and Gentlemen,” announced the pilot over the P.A. “This is your Captain…
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Three girls died and were brought to the gates of heaven. Upon entering the gate, they were halted by St. Peter and his obedient angel. St. Peter asked the girls, “Before entering you must answer this simple question.” “Which is……?”, they replied in unison. “Have you been a good girl?” He asked the first girl. “Oh yes,” she said. “I was a virgin before I got married, and was still a virgin after i got married.” “Very good”, said St.…
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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Share your knowledge of these “world records” with your friends, relatives and associates during dinner: MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July, 1991. LONGEST PUBES Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina. MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina. (This isn’t all…
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A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband, Walter Smith. Saint Peter said, “We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a little clue.” The woman said, “My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever slept with another man he’d turn over in his grave.” Saint Peter motioned an angel forward. “Take her to Whirling Walter!”
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A doctor walks up to a teller to pay a bill at the bank. He reaches into his top pocket to pull out a pen to sign a cheque but instead pulls out a rectal thermometer. The teller looks at him strangely as the doctorsays, “some asshole has got my pen.”
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