Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Once a long time ago, there was a season when neither the Packers nor the Vikings made the post-season playoffs. It seemed so unusual that the management of both teams got together and decided that there should be some sort of competition between the two teams, because of their great on-going rivalry. So they decided on a week-long fishing competition. The team that catches the most fish at the end of the week wins. On a cold, northern Wisconsin lake,…
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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
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Then: Killer Weed Now: Weed Killer Then: Being caught w/Hustler magazine Now: Being caught BY Hustler magazine Then: The Grateful Dead Now: Dr. Kevorkian Then: Getting out to a new, hip joint Now: Getting a new hip joint Then: Moving to California because it’s cool Now: Moving to California because it’s warm Then: Peace Sign Now: Mercedes Logo Then: OJ, cutting & slashing Now: OJ, cutting & slashing Then: Long hair Now: Longing for hair Then: Acid rock Now: Acid…
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Subject: Theories on anything Date: 12/29/98 **************************************** A contest was held for people to submit their theories on just about any darned thing they wanted to. Below are the winners. **************************************** RUNNER-UP: Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people’s ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out. RUNNER-UP: Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms…
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A pair of Irish ditch diggers were repairing some road damage directly across the street from a house of ill repute. They witnessed a Protestant Minister lurking about, then ducking into the house. “Would ye look at that, Darby!” said Pat. “What a shameful disgrace, those Protestant Reverends sinnin’ in a house the likes of that place!” They both shook their heads and continued working. A short time later they watched as a Rabbi looked around cautiously and then darted…
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Did you ever hear one of those corny, positive messages on someone’s answering machine? “Hi, It’s a great day and I’m out enjoying it right now. I hope you are too. The thought for the day is “Share the love.” “Beep.” “Uh, yeah. . . this is the VD clinic calling. . .Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.” — Andy Rooney
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A big-city, California, lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell into this field and now I’m going to retrieve it.” The old farmer replied, “This is my property,…
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Children’s books that never quite made it into circulation “You Are Different and That’s Bad” “Dad’s New Wife Timothy” “Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games” “Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets” “The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad” “Babar Meets the Taxidermist” “Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence” “The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables” “Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy” “Things…
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Seventy year old George went to the doctor for his annual physical check-up. The doctor examined George and did all the routine tests. Everything seemed fine. The doctor said, “Well George, it looks like all the tests came back normal and you seem to be in good physical shape for a man your age. Now tell me, how are you emotionally and spiritually?” “Doc”, said George, “I am emotionally and spiritually great. In fact, God has really been helping me…
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Your mama so dumb she threw a rock at the ground and missed. Your mama so old I told her to act her age and she died. Your mama so short she hang-glides on doritos. Your mama so ugly her nickname is Damn! Your mama like a bowling ball. she gets fingered, thrown, and comes back for more. Your mama so fat she fell out a chair and went straight to hell. Your mama so short she fights with Mrs.…
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