Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face. Her pale lips moved. “Jake,” she said. “Hush,” he quickly interrupted, “don’t talk.” But, she insisted. “Jake,” she said in her tired voice, “I have to talk. I must confess.” “There is nothing to confess,” said the weeping Jake, “It’s all right. Everything’s all right.” “No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake,…
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When Noah had his ark built he called all the animals together. When they had assembled he told all the males he would take away their privates. He said he couldn’t have them making love because it would risk them having children. In return he would give all the males a claim ticket and when they got off the would get their valuables back. So every day for the next 40 days, the rabbits were running in to their wives…
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Said John to Mary, “I’ll bet you a quarter I can kiss you on the lips without touching them.” “You’re crazy,” said Mary. “That’s impossible. Here’s a quarter that says you can’t.” The two coins were placed on the mantlepiece and John then enfolded Mary and for ten minutes kissed her passionately, intimately and moistly. She broke away at last, panting and disheveled, and said, “You did nothing BUT touch my lips.” John pushed the quarters toward her and said,…
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Three hillbillies decided to buy a pig to enter in the county fair. After they had the pig for about a year the thing didn’t gain any weight. So the hillbillies decided to put a cork in the pig’s ass. After about 6 months the pig was ready for the fair, gaining a good 150-200 lbs. They went to the fair and won First Place. The hillbillies went home and one of them said, “We gotta take out the cork…
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INNER SKELETON A 63 year old widow was admitted to hospital in Recife, Brazil, suffering abdominal pains. X-rays showed that she was carrying a 20 inch long skeleton of a fetus which she conceived a decade earlier. It had become lodged outside the womb and was never expelled from her body. FEMALE SOFA A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in the hospital. During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a dime was found under…
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Subject:UPCOMING MASTERCARD COMMERCIAL Lockheed F-16 Fighting Falcon – $25 million dollars Lockheed F-117 Nighthawk Stealth Fighter – $45 million dollars. Boeing B-52 Stratofortress – $74 million dollars. Brand new B-2 Stealth Bomber – $2.1 billion dollars. A decent map of downtown Belgrade. * Priceless. There are some things that money can’t buy… For the rest, there’s MasterCard, the official card of the 19 member NATO alliance and those who believe that sometimes you just need to blow up something in…
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There once was a young person named Little Red Riding Hood who lived on the edge of a large forest full of endangered owls and rare plants that would probably provide a cure for cancer if only someone took the time to study them. Red Riding Hood lived with a nurture giver whom she sometimes referred to as “mother”, although she didn’t mean to imply by this term that she would have thought less of the person if a close…
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1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A: Gifted! 2. Q: How do blonde braincells die? A: Alone. 3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? A: Pregnant. 4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde? A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down. 5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette? A: Artificial intelligence. 6. Q: How does a blonde part their…
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The pentagon recently found it had too many Generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any General who retired straight away, his full annual benefits PLUS $10,000.00 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring General’s body between two points he chose. (Something Congress came up with!) The first General accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. 6 feet. He walked out…
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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Tim?” “My goldfish died,” replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your stupid…
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