Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A doctor, an engineer, a rabbi and a lawyer were debating who was the world’s first professional. The Doctor said, “It must have been a doctor. Who else could have helped with the world’s first surgery of taking a rib from Adam to create Eve, the first woman?” “No,” said the rabbi. “It must have been a rabbi, since the Lord needed someone to help preach his message to Adam and the world.” “Wait,” said the engineer. “The world was…
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In a classroom one day the teacher asked her students, for homework, to think of a true story that has a moral. So the next day she asked Wendy to come up first. The teacher says, “Alright Wendy, what’s your story?” “Well,” Wendy started,”My grandfather lives on a farm and he has chickens. He wanted to sell all the eggs at the market but they didn’t make it to the market because the back of the truck broke and they…
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A couple decide to go to a Halloween party one year. So they dressed up as two cows and headed out for the party.. While on their way, the car broke down and they were stranded. As the man walked around the car kicking and cussing , He noticed the house they were going to was just accross the pasture. “Well,” said the man. “I guess we can walk through the pasture and be there in a minute or two…
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If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can get going without pep pills, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches & pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on…
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I remember the first time I entered a topless restaurant, back in the 1970s, in Colorado. I went in the place out of curiosity, and was fascinated by the beautiful young women walking around, waiting on the customers, and wearing no tops. I was awestruck! A pretty blonde with bright green eyes walked over to me and smiled. “Would you like something?” she purred. Unable to take my eyes off her chest, but needing exact change for the cigarette machine,…
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a.. Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your ASS? b.. If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you! c.. Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you’re an asshole d.. 100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest? e.. Your gene pool needs a little chlorine. f.. You’re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you! g.. DON’T PISS ME OFF!!!!!! I’m running out of…
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An American and an Englishman are sharing the same compartment on a train trip to London from Paris. During their conversation, the American criticizes the arrogance of the English people. He says to the Englishmen, “You people have such stiff upper lips that you think your people are the superior race in the world. You tend to look down on people not the same as you are. As for me, I’m proud to say that I’m a quarter Irishman, two…
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A couple was enjoying a romantic dinner, celebrating their 35th anniversary when the husband says to his wife, “Honey, it’s wonderful having been married to you for 35 years, but there is one thing I’ve often wondered and have never known for sure. Have you been true to me throughout our married years?” She suddenly gets this flushed look upon her face as responds, “Does it really matter? What really counts is that we have been happy and we’ll be…
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Martha Stewart Holiday Calendar December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Spray paint gold, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards. December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine. December 3 Using candlewick and handgilded miniature pine cones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener. December 4 Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim. December 5 Get new eyeglasses. Grind lenses myself. December 6 Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee…
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It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade. The teacher greeted the class and said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history. Who said, “Give me Liberty, or give me death?” She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up, “Patrick Henry, 1775,” said the boy. “Now,” said the teacher, “Who said ‘Government of the people, by the…
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