Proud Jewish Mother
A Jewish mother is walking down the street with her two young sons. A passerby asks her how old the boys are. “The doctor is three,” the mother answers, “and the lawyer is two.”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Young mother Jokes
Start ‘Em Young
A gang member was holding his 8-month-old baby while his wife was preparing lunch in the kitchen. The baby murmured, “Mother.” The guy got all excited and hollered to his wife, “HEY, WOMAN, THE BABY JUST SAID HALF A WORD!”
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A Jewish Mother’s Day Joke
Three Jewish immigrant brothers named Moshe, Aaron and Daniel, had a dinner reunion to celebrate their fifteen years stay in America. Since Mother’s Day was just around the corner, they were discussing the gifts they would be giving their Momma back home in Israel. Moshe the eldest brother said, “I had a mansion built in Jerusalem and Momma would be moving into it on Mother’s Day.” Aaron the middle brother said, “I bought a special edition Mercedes Benz for Momma…
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Grandmother’s Gift
Young Benjamin’s grandmother had given him two sweaters for his birthday. He had arranged to visit his grandmother that weekend and was agonizing over which of the two sweaters to wear. After what seemed like hours of deliberation, he chose one. On the appointed day, he put it on and went to visit his grandmother. She greeted him at the door, took one look at the sweater, and said, “So you didn’t like the other one?”
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How Babies are Made
A young mother was once again pregnant and trying to explain to her little girl how she had gotten that way. She explained how a baby was growing in her tummy, and how it took an egg and a sperm. Daddy made the sperm, and Mommy made the egg. The little girl asks, “So if it takes a sperm and an egg to make a baby, and the egg is already in your tummy, then how does the sperm get…
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How Babies are Created
A young mother was once again pregnant and trying to explain to her little girl how she had got that way. She explained how a baby was growing in her tummy, and how it took and egg and a sperm. Daddy made the sperm, and Mommy made the egg. So the little girl asks, “So if it takes a sperm and an egg to make a baby, and the egg is already in your tummy, then how does the sperm…
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Little Johnny’s Visit to the Doctor’s Office
A young mother paying a visit to a doctor made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son Little Johnny, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.” “No,” said the doctor calmly, “He’ll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.”
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Obsessions
The psychiatrist was holding a group consultation with three young mothers and their small children. “You all have obsessions,” he told them. To the first one, he said, “Your obsession is eating. Why, you’ve even named your daughter Candy.” The second, he said, was obsessed by money. “Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” At this point, the third mother arose and, taking her little boy by the hand, whispered, “Let’s go, Dick.”
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Granny’s Limerick
A 15-year-old high school student was hard at work on the kitchen table trying to write a limerick for the school paper’s contest. His grandmother came in to make tea and asked him what he was writing. “There’s a contest at school for the best limerick. The winner gets published in our school newspaper” replied Jimmy. “Oh”, Granny smiled, “maybe I can help you. When I was your age, I used to be quite good at making up limericks, although…
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Old Ladies can be Cruel!
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally, he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him. “Pardon me,” she said, “I’m sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It’s just that you look just like my son, who I haven’t seen in a long time.”…
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