Yea Jokes

Breaking News (from the 17th Century): Michaelina Wautier Officially Declared ‘Old Master’ (Only Took a Few Hundred Years)

Breaking News (from the 17th Century): Michaelina Wautier Officially Declared ‘Old Master’ (Only Took a Few Hundred Years) It seems history needed a little nudge, but the verdict is finally in: Michaelina Wautier, the incredibly talented Flemish artist, has officially ascended to the ranks of ‘old masters’! ? This long-overdue declaration coincides perfectly with a new exhibition ?? opening in Vienna on Tuesday, gathering her magnificent works into one spectacular show for the very first time. Better late than never,…

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Read JokeBreaking News (from the 17th Century): Michaelina Wautier Officially Declared ‘Old Master’ (Only Took a Few Hundred Years)

Malawi Voters Tell Economic Crisis, ‘You’re Fired!’, Opt For 85-Year-Old Political Veteran Instead

Malawi voters, it seems, have had enough of the economic rollercoaster! They’ve decided to tell their current woes, ‘You’re fired!’ and instead, bring back an 85-year-old political veteran for another go. ? Peter Mutharika, a former president and now an octogenarian comeback kid, successfully unseated Lazarus Chakwera. Chakwera’s tenure was, let’s just say, a bit of a mixed bag – if that bag contained a multi-year economic crisis, sky-high inflation, essential goods shortages, a sprinkle of climate disasters, and the…

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Read JokeMalawi Voters Tell Economic Crisis, ‘You’re Fired!’, Opt For 85-Year-Old Political Veteran Instead

After 77 Years, Scientists Finally Crack Jackson Pollock’s ‘Number 1A’ Paint Mystery, Discover It’s the ‘Bad Blue’ Banned by Environmentalists

Well, would you look at that! After a mere 77 years, dedicated art historians and scientists have finally identified the specific blue pigment used in Jackson Pollock’s iconic 1948 masterpiece, ‘Number 1A’. ? Talk about a slow reveal! But here’s the kicker: the ‘manganese blue’ pigment they so painstakingly traced? Turns out it was phased out for environmental reasons. So, basically, they spent decades unraveling a great art mystery just to find out Pollock was dripping with a color that…

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Read JokeAfter 77 Years, Scientists Finally Crack Jackson Pollock’s ‘Number 1A’ Paint Mystery, Discover It’s the ‘Bad Blue’ Banned by Environmentalists

Cuba’s Power Grid Takes its Fifth Vacation This Year, Leaving 10 Million in the Dark (Again!)

Well, look what we have here! Cuba’s power grid, apparently suffering from a severe case of ‘the Mondays’ every other month, has decided to take its fifth little siesta this year. ? The energy ministry, probably sighing heavily, confirmed that 10 million people are once again playing ‘find the flashlight’ after a “total disconnection” of their wonderfully antiquated electric system. ???? Emergency crews are, yet again, on the scene, likely with a sense of déjà vu, trying to coax the…

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Read JokeCuba’s Power Grid Takes its Fifth Vacation This Year, Leaving 10 Million in the Dark (Again!)

After All These Years

On one spring day there was this eighty-five year old man and eighty year old woman who had just gotten married. On their way to their honeymoon the old man looks at his new bride and thinks to himself, after all these years he is finally going to get laid again. When they finally arrive at the hotel the old couple starts to unpack. At that time the wife decides to go the bathroom to freshen up. While she is…

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19 Things that Took Me 50 Years to Learn

by Dave Berry 1. Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be “meetings”. 3. There is a very fine line between “hobby” and “mental illness.” 4. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with…

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40 years together

A man and a woman were married for 40 years. When they first got married the man said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 40 years of marriage the woman never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 40th anniversary curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In the box were 3 empty beer bottles and $1874 in small bills.…

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20 years ago

A wife woke of the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. “Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. “Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry…

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Read Joke20 years ago

14 year old Johnny

Little 14 year old Johnny was in his room masturbating. Suddenly, his Mother opened the door and caught him. Thinking fast, she told him that he shouldn’t be doing that, he should save it for when he gets married. Twelve years later, Johnny fell in love and got married. At his reception, he pulled his Mother aside and asked her if she remembered what she had told him when she caught him masturbating. She said yes, she did. Hearing this,…

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Read Joke14 year old Johnny

Seven Year Binge

The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Honey,” she said, as she pointed the guy out, “that guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago.” Her husband said, “That’s silly. No one celebrates THAT much!”

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Read JokeSeven Year Binge