Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Rule #1: Anything we said six or eight months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after seven days. Rule #2: If you don’t want to dress like Victoria’s Secret Girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys. Rule #3: If we say something that can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way. Rule #4: It is neither in your…
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1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects. 2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3. And don’t start a sentence with a conjunction. 4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat) 6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration. 7. Be more or less specific. 8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary. 9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies. 10. No sentence fragments. 11. Contractions aren’t necessary…
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The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where car drivers attempted to summarize the details of an accident in the fewest words possible. Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have. The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. I thought the window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it. I collided with a stationary truck coming…
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1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at the third floor on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn’t yet started the paper either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a…
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Agent: Harry, I got some good news and bad news. Writer: Better tell me the good news first. Agent: Paramount loved your script. Just ate it up. Writer: Hey, that’s great. So what’s the bad news? Agent: Paramount’s my dog.
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Sing this to the tune of the Beatles’ “Let It Be” : When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: Write in C. As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers: Write in C. Write in C, Write in C, Write in C, oh, Write in C. LOGO’s dead and buried, Write in C. I used to write a lot of…
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British Museum’s Not-So-Original Problem Inspires ‘Provocative’ Prize-Winning Tale About a Replica. Piyumi Kapugeekiyana’s literary triumph dives deep into the thorny issues of repatriation and cultural ownership, but here’s the kicker: it’s all told through the eyes of a replica of the goddess T?r?. ? Talk about meta-commentary! The winning story’s title, ‘The Original Is Not Here,’ pretty much sums up the entire debate in one perfectly cheeky phrase. ? It seems even fictional statues are getting in on the act…
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At 91, Maureen Duffy is officially redefining ‘pioneering,’ charmingly snagging the inaugural ‘Pioneer’ prize! ? This delightful new literary award, specifically designed for female writers over 60, was thoughtfully launched by RSL president Bernardine Evaristo. And here’s the best part: it’s funded by the generous £100,000 Evaristo herself won from another prestigious women’s prize. Talk about empowering the seasoned literary ladies with a brilliant pay-it-forward scheme! ?? It seems the literary world is finally celebrating the wisdom (and wit!) that…
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Turns Out, Cornish Wasn’t Quite Dead After All! A new book suggests that Kernewek, the ancient language of Cornwall, apparently continued to be spoken in the 19th century. ? It seems the language was just having a very long, very quiet nap, resisting its official demise by ‘tiny numbers’ of incredibly dedicated (or perhaps just very stubborn) speakers. ? So much for Dolly Pentreath being the final word! Read more: cornish clung on as living language beyond dolly pentreath says…
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A 15-year-old high school student was hard at work on the kitchen table trying to write a limerick for the school paper’s contest. His grandmother came in to make tea and asked him what he was writing. “There’s a contest at school for the best limerick. The winner gets published in our school newspaper” replied Jimmy. “Oh”, Granny smiled, “maybe I can help you. When I was your age, I used to be quite good at making up limericks, although…
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