Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A carpet layer had worked all day installing wall-to-wall carpeting. He noticed a lump under the carpet in the middle of the living room, he felt his shirt pocket for his cigarettes–they were gone. He was not about to pull the carpet back up, so he went outside for a two-by-four. Stamping down cigarettes with it would be easy. Once the lump was smoothed, the man gathered up his tools and carried them to his truck. Then two things happened…
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Jimmy and Johnny, panting and pulling on their tandem bicycle, finally reached the top of a long, steep hill. “Whew!” gasped Jimmy. “What a climb!” “Sure was!” agreed Johnny. “If I hadn’t kept the brake on, we’d have gone down backward.”
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Talk about huge breasts! Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist! It’s Cool Whip time. If I don’t undo my pants I’ll burst. Whew, that’s a terrific spread I’m in the mood for a little dark meat. Are you ready for seconds yet? It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it? Just wait your turn, you’ll get some. Don’t play with your meat. Just spread the legs open & stuff it in. Do you think you’ll…
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Two little boys were playing in a neighbor lady’s yard when they noticed a man knock on her door and say he wanted to have a good time and asked her, how much? She told him $30.00 and let him in. A little while later he left with a big smile on his face. This happened several more times and the little boys were getting more and more curious, so they knocked on the lady’s door and said they wanted…
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The following letters are taken from an actual incident between a London hotel and one of its guests. The Hotel ended up submitting the letters to the London Sunday Times! ——————- Dear Maid, Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are…
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1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…
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1)”They told me at the blood bank that this might happen.” 2) “Whew! Guess I left the top off the correction fluid.” 3) “This is one of the seven habits of highly effective people.” 4) “Why did you interrrupt me? I almost had our biggest problem solved!” 5)”Someone must have put decaf in the wrong pot.” 6) “Ah,the unique and unpredictable circadian rhythms of the workaholic.” 7)”Amen. Yes, may I help you?”
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A Texan went to Chicago and thought he would buy a new “city” outfit. He went into Marshall Fields and when asked by a sweet young woman if she could help him, answered, “Yes ma’am, ya see, I’m from Texas and I want to buy a complete outfit.” Well, her eyes lit up as she asked, “Where would you like to start?” “Well ma’am. How about a suit?” “Yes sir, what size?” “Size 53 … tall, ma’am.” “Wow, that’s really…
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Just after this guy gets married, he was invited out for a night with “the boys.” He accepts and then tells his new bride not to worry, assuring her, “I’ll be home by midnight, I promise!” Well, the darts were landing just right and the beer was going down easy, and at around 3 AM, drunk as can be, the guy finally stumbles home. Just as he gets in the door, the cuckoo clock started, and cuckooed three times. Quickly,…
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10. “Just reach in and grab the giblets.” 9. “Whew…that’s one terrific spread!” 8. “I am in the mood for a little dark meat!” 7. “Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.” 6. “Talk about a HUGE breast!” 5. “And he forces his way into the end zone!” 4. “She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down.” 3. “It’s cool whip time!” 2. “If I don’t unbutton my pants, I am going…
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