Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A couple decide to go to a Halloween party one year. So they dressed up as two cows and headed out for the party.. While on their way, the car broke down and they were stranded. As the man walked around the car kicking and cussing , He noticed the house they were going to was just accross the pasture. “Well,” said the man. “I guess we can walk through the pasture and be there in a minute or two…
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Years ago, before “Caller ID” was perfected, I telephoned 911 and exclaimed, “Help! There’s a FIRE at 1234 Maple Street! Please hurry!” As I heard the sirens wailing in the distance, I dialed the city accounting office and asked to speak to the Administrator. Once he was on the line, I asked, “How much does it cost the city, for the fire department to respond to false alarm calls?” “Each false alarm costs the taxpayers around $500,” he replied. “Good!”…
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A Bible study group was discussing the unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, “We will all die some day, and none of us really knows when, but if we did, we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event.” Everybody nodded their heads in agreement with this comment. Then the leader said to the group, “What would you do if you knew you had only four weeks of life…
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Sam is very self-conscious about his bald head and his wooden leg, so when he receives an invitation to a Halloween Ball, he wants to wear a costume that will hide or minimize both. He dashes off a note to Brooks Brothers, explaining his need and his concerns, and in a few days receives a package with the following note. “Dear Sir: Enclosed is a pirate costume. The red handkerchief will cover your bald head, and your wooden leg will…
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Two vampires walked into a bar and called for the bartender. “I’ll have a glass of blood,” said one. “I’ll have a glass of plasma,” said the other. “Okay,” replied the bartender, “that’ll be one Blood and one Blood Lite.”
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Nixon: Watergate Clinton: Water Bed Nixon: His biggest fear – the Cold War Clinton: His biggest fear – a Cold Sore Nixon: Carpet bombing Clinton: Carpet burning Nixon: His Vice President was a Greek Clinton: His Vice President is a geek Nixon: Couldn’t stop Kissinger Clinton: Couldn’t stop kissing her Nixon: Couldn’t explain the 18-minute gap in the Watergate tape Clinton: Couldn’t explain the 36-DD bra in his brief case Nixon: His nickname Tricky Dick Clinton: No difference Nixon: Ex-President…
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Long ago, when the Irish Sweepstakes was the big lottery game in the U.S., a Jewish gentleman won the sweepstakes and was overwhelmed, not so much with the amount of the winnings, but with the taxes he would have to pay. So this gentleman, named Morrie, went to his tax advisor and was told the best thing he could do would be to go to Ireland, live there for a year, establish residence and collect the entire sum, tax-free. Morrie…
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A couple was invited to a masked Halloween Party. The wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping for an hour, awakened feeling much better so she decided to go to the party. Since her husband didn’t know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching him to see how he acted when she was…
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Halloween is fast approaching. Here are a few costume ideas for him and her. They are easy to make and are quite inexpensive. She can go naked except for a pair of boots. He can go naked except for a string hanging around his waist holding a frying pan to cover his private parts. Who will they be? Puss and Boots, and Peter Pan. She can go naked except for a sting holding a lemon in front of her private…
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A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around today. The teen says, “Grandpa, they didn’t have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young, did they?” Grandpa replies, “Nope.” His grandson says, “Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?” Grandpa replies,…
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