Water ski Jokes

A pastor reluctantly accepted a dinner invitation from one of his parishioners named Mrs. Brown. Knowing that Mrs. Brown had a reputation of being an unkempt housewife, the pastor was understandably apprehensive when he sat down at the dinner table in Mrs. Brown’s home. Looking at the plates closely, the pastor said, “Mrs. Brown, excuse me for asking. It seems these dinner plates have not been washed yet. Are you sure these plates are clean?” Mrs. Brown laughed and said,…

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ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…

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Part of my friend’s job as a technical writer is to help produce the company newsletter which goes to their clients. He was asked to come up with a list (ala Letterman’s Top Ten List) of funny things one can do with Thanksgiving leftovers. He applied my head-bone to the problem for an hour and we came up with this list. Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule. Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open…

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