Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A wounded Marine limps into the bar and tells the bartender, “Give me a gin & tonic, a scotch & soda, a rum & coke and a Heineken.” The bartender looks a bit puzzled but, nonetheless, serves him his order. The Marine downs all four drinks, pays his tab and leaves. This goes on for a full week when the Marine enters again and orders up the usual. The bartender finally speaks up and says, “My God, man, I’ve seen…
(0)
Loading...
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer. “Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m to promise to ‘love, honor and obey’ and ‘forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out.” He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day of the wedding, when the bride…
(0)Loading...
A businessman was feeling rather ill and went to see the Doctor about it. “Well, it must be your diet,”, reported the doctor. “what sort of greens do you eat?” “Well,” the man replies. “I only eat peas. I hate all other green foods”. “Well man, that’s your problem…legume intolerance. Those peas will be clogging up your system, you’ll have to give them up.” “But how long? I mean, I really like peas!” “Forever, I’m afraid,” intoned the doctor. The…
(0)Loading...
These are actual excuse notes teachers have received; spelling mistakes included. “My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.” “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.” “Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.” “Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.” “Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out…
(2)Loading...
As I boot up my PC, my modem dailing next to me, I ask the Lord, give me a sign…. Will I ever get on-line????? If you’d kindly let me through, I’ll byte no more than I can chew. I’ll surf the waves amid the Net, with my mouse, my loyal pet. And through each window I will see the websites that are offered me. Resisting any chat room’s lure, I’ll download only what is pure. If system errors don’t…
(0)Loading...
There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cut-offs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part. The couple would leave the ceremony in…
(1)Loading...
Companies are changing by adding an “e” or an “i” to the beginning of their name as they go after Internet based business. Vanna was right, it does pay to buy a vowel.
(0)Loading...
A sultan is bored with all the jugglers and clowns, so he warns his servant, “Unless you find some good entertainment for me tonight, it’s off with your head!” The man is terrified, but he vows he will not fail. Day turns to night, and it’s time for the show. “Well what have you got for me?” the sultan booms. “Tonight, Sire,” squeaks the servant, “we have a man who will make love to a dozen women before your very…
(1)Loading...
There would be a “Rehearsal Dinner Kegger” until the cops showed up. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jean cutoffs and halter tops. They would have NO tan lines and more skin showing than not. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would have matching team colors. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that “forsaking all others” part. The couple would leave the ceremony in…
(0)Loading...
Little Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. “Did you get that for your birthday?” he asked. “Nope,” Jimmy replied. “Well did you get it for Christmas then?” Little Johnny asked. “Nope.” “You didn’t steal it, did you?” “No,” said Jimmy. “I went into Mom and Dad’s bedroom the other night when they were ‘doing the nasty’. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.”…
(2)Loading...